Stand up material. Feedback? Page 2

If you post in critique I assume it's because you want feedback. Not all feedback is positive and not all feedback is helpful. If you think you're material is good enough you don't need our feedback or criticism, then that's fine. There's some very succesful writers on this forum who never post in critique.

But personally when I get fair and negative criticism I change how I write.

If you don't want feedback from me that's fine.

I think you're stnadups not bad, but then I'm not very good at standup. You've got some pretty decent gags in there.

But if you're going to be negative about your girlfriend and make paedo gags you may lsoe audience sympathy.

But if you're writing it like that then you're including alot of padding at this stage.

Quote: Vance Crabbe @ May 4 2009, 1:54 PM BST

I won't go into detail with regards to the mechanics of the jokes, but I think the material in general is of a poor standard and has been done over and over and over and over again. Try to do something more original. Harsh maybe, but I think honesty is important on this forum.

It doesn't feel like this would engage much with the audience either. If you were to perfom it how it reads it would seem like you're just talking "at" the audience as oppossed to really engaging with them. the "shit on her" gag is delievered far too early, you need to develop trust with an audience before saying things like that, otherwise it seems to random and out of place. It just seems like you're looking for impact rather making people laugh.

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Thanks appreciate feedback. In response to Dolly and Vance, some valid points which I understand, but these are a few of a set, this is not material that will flow from one to another, in term's of engaging with audience, how can I post that on here? you can't. The material is for feedback and that is what I have, so thankyou.

I am fairly new to standup myself and as such on the gigs I do, I mix with a lot of other new stand-ups. As such agree it is a mixture of performance and material but at the lower level I feel I am honing my performance so rely more on the material.

This routine did nothing for me, but then I recognise it's not my type of humour. At the level I'm playing there seems to be a lot of people relying on the shock humour to get the big laughs that, if I'm honest, they very rarely get.

Ans, as such I have heard many variations on this set, the biggest piece of advice I can agree with Dolly here is to get your big laugh in early and increase the hit rate of your gags, you've only 5 minutes and you've wasted to much already. If your doing a 20 minute set you can be a bit more flexible.

Cut anything you CAN and still keep the joke. Basically follow Dolly's advice she speaketh the truth.

That's about 30 seconds of material, was too much along the lines of (as someone there said) Gervais, Boyle and Carr for me to give an opinion on it.

Only real tip I can give is to check out Jerry Sadowitz instead.

Honesty is good in comedy.