Traffic Lights on Surburban Close

Narrator: For twenty years, Gordon Twat has been campaigning to get traffic lights installed in his Close. People have wondered why when on average, only ten cars drive down the Close per day. But the Council have had enough of hearing from him and they have given in to Twat's demands.

(We see Gordon's triumphant look as the traffic lights are now in operation. On looking neighbours just shake there heads)

Cut to inside Gordon's house. His phone rings

GORDON: Hello the Twat residence. Oh hello Gerald. Yes, great news the traffic lights are up and ready. Yes, I fancy going out for a drink to celebrate as-well. Where to then. No, the Landlord won't let us back inside that place when our Antiques Roadshow Appreciation Society meeting got out of hand. Yes great idea,your house.

(He leaves his house, it is day-light. He stroakes the Traffic Lights on the way past)

(It is now darkness and he is leaving Gerald's house)

GORDON: See you later then Gerald.

(He walks onto the close)

GORDON: Oh bugger!!!

(The lights are on red and it is shining directly onto his house. There are hoards of prostitutes on his lawn)
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Will be very grateful for feedback, be it negative, positive or neutral. Many thanks, Jack.

I found this extremely hard to read especially as it is now darkness?

Will make it simpler.

Please, could somebody leave some feedback before I go to bed (that will be very shortly).

Hi Jack, yes I did enjoy it. But it did seem a very random setup for a good, but not brilliant punchline. It was good, but not a world beater.

Just quickly then, Jack.

Change 'Twat' - it's naff. Jones, even! Make it clear that the traffic lights are stuck on red. Otherwise there's no clear reason for the pros to be there. Maybe insert a 'Red Light District' line somewhere?

Thanks. I came across the idea as tempory traffic lights were outside my house last week and they shone on my house like a red light district. So I thought, sketch. Could see the idea working better as part of a sitcom episode though.

Funnier me thinks if he goes into his house he sits down in the living room and the lights are shining directly in throught the net curtains. He stands up and they change colours on him. He says 'Oh shit!'