Stand up Comedy. Page 19

I love grammar jokes as much as I love maths or unix ones (spend lots of time on www.xkcd.com).

Really tempted to use this tonight.
"There *is* a dictionary definition of meaningless."

Though I always worry about smugness. Toss up between that and
"Apparently indescribable is an adjective."

'This morning I opened my fridge and the milk had gone off. Gone off with the muesli to Tenerife - will be back in a week'
... Think the phrase "left a note" might fit in here somewhere. As in...
'This morning I opened my fridge and the milk had gone off. Left a note saying it had gone to Tenerife with the muesli'

Like that ... just better.

I can never pull of risqué material however. Had a lame necrophiliac joke
"How many necrophiliacs does it take to change a light bulb?"
"None ... they prefer the dead ones"

And I can't be bothered to improve that as I know I will never use it. Don't have the hutzpah.

Rubicon joke ... and the implicit reference to the 49BC crossing by Caesar ... that's staying in however cos it makes me giggle. Maybe I should start posting in the nerd thread.

Ha ha - love this one:

http://www.xkcd.com/123/

And this is good also:

http://www.xkcd.com/150/

Funnily enough I saw an advert for Rubicon on the TV yesterday. Maybe it's not as rare outside London as I thought...

Don't forget the alt-text (mousing over) ... some have truly great punchlines.

http://xkcd.com/149/

Made me spill my coffee in giggles.

Another gig, this time in front of a real audience of drunk revellers instead of nervous comics. Was a lot harder obviously and some of the more self indulgent lines (I'm looking at you Rubicon juice gag) were painful. It's very odd watching a line you love just die in front of you but satisfying winning people back at stages.
One guy had his arms folded and scowled at me the whole way through until a Microsoft gag where he reluctantly clapped and said "I have to give him that one".
MC & headliner gave me some good tips off stage - so far the professionals (and people on this thread) I've met have been supportive.

http://xkcd.com/197/

By way of thanks

Excellent xkcd comic. Ha ha - some jokes work some nights and then different jokes work other nights, I wouldn't blame it all on the Rubicon - save that for the gig at the Roman Historian's Guild Christmas dinner. Assuming historians eat in kebab shops.

I did a joke - 'I've had a few problems this week. Women keep asking out my fridge. But it's engaged.' People found it hilarious one night but it then killed my set dead on another night. You never can tell.

OMG! just back from my Jongleurs gig and I died

It was a tough gig, and I am far too inexperienced to handle a crowd like that.

I'm glad I did it though, and as they say, you only learn from the bad gigs.

I can only take consolation in the fact that the paid acts were struggling so at least I battled it out, kept my head up high, and ploughed on regardless.

Hiya, Angie. Tough gig, eh?

Which Jongleurs was it?

Awww, thanks Tim. *hugs*

It was Battersea, which is meant to be one of the nicer ones, but the crowd were so flat, and there was a big table of guys who were constantly heckling.

Well, at least I can say I've done Jongleurs!

Yep, well done.

I did that one years and years ago. Was a bit too commercial as I recall, in the sense that it was a very business-like kind of club, with punters there expecting the same kind of stand-up they see on the telly.

Anyway, good that you're not inconsolable. It's just part of the learning curve and it's actually better to die in front of a full room than an empty one.

So dust yourself down and look forward to the next gig. Take a couple of days off (if you can) before analysing whether or not there was anything you could have done which would have improved your reception.

Congrats Angie - you've done it! And it's good to know it doesn't get worse than that.

All good experience - was rooting for you. I guess that's now FHM 2, BCG 1 - it all rests on thefridaylink to equal things up!

Go me!
Am petrified.

Here is me going down badly in Stratford. Apologies for the crap camera work... I am saving up for a Flip HD thing.

Am going to work on this set a lot as the awkward silences at the beginning really get me down. "Use the Jewish Calendar .., and On the Subject of Occupation" leading into work puns makes me laugh ... but no-one else - so will shuffle things around. Maybe with a Cold Open.

http://thefridaylink.com/blog/2009/09/bombing-at-the-theatre-royale-straford-open-mic-night/

I'm not sure the Jewish Calendar one is strong enough to open on. And you've changed the format of the online dating joke - I preferred 'and she gets e-mails saying, if you liked Shem, you might also like John or Luke...'

It didn't look like it went too badly - lot of funny stuff in there still! Good heckle response also, made me laugh.

Quote: AngieBaby @ September 26 2009, 1:32 AM BST

OMG! just back from my Jongleurs gig and I died

It was a tough gig, and I am far too inexperienced to handle a crowd like that.

I'm glad I did it though, and as they say, you only learn from the bad gigs.

I can only take consolation in the fact that the paid acts were struggling so at least I battled it out, kept my head up high, and ploughed on regardless.

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Jongleurs is tough for male pros - so well done! I've found it tough just being in the audience at those places.

Has anyone heard anything yet, or did anyone else get that email from FHM?

I've heard nothing - not even had the e-mail. What did it say?

Btw - @thefridaylink, how did it go?