EXT. CITY CENTRE
The defenceless humans cower under the mighty presence of alien invaders. One of the aliens (Al) speaks.
AL
We come to Earth in search of human sacrifice. And to catch We Will Rock You before it's too late.
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Faint, distant]
It's shit!
AL
My name is Al.
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Shouting]
Alf?
AL
No, Al.
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Shouting]
Do you know Alf?
AL [SAD]
I wrote to him once, but he never replied...
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Shouting]
What about Gordon the Gopher?
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Shouting]
He's not from outta space, you idiot!
AL
Silence!
A Heroic man steps forward.
HEROIC MAN
Oh, mighty Al, for the sake of humanity, take me.
AL
I don't think a gay would appease our God.
HEROIC MAN [Defensive]
I'm not gay!
AL [Camp]
Oo get you.
Heroic Woman steps forward.
HEROIC WOMAN
Then take me!
AL [Awkward]
Ah, you see, erm, I...
HEROIC WOMAN
Sexist!
AL
Not at all, I err...
Al quickly shoots the woman with a laser gun, disintegrating her.
AL
Do you have a human child?
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Shouting]
Paedo!
AL
Just because I want to sacrifice a child, doesn't automatically make me a nonce. Adults used to do it all the time when I was a lad.
MAN IN CROWD [Shouting]
You know what?
CROWD [As one]
What?
MAN IN CROWD
Erm... he's right! We have become over reactionary, too politically correct, our kids have been wrapped in bubble wrap for too long...
CROWD
Yeah!
MAN IN CROWD
Our kids should be free to run wild and naked...
CROWD
Yeah? ... Huh?
AL [Laughing]
My work is done.
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Shouting]
What do you mean?
AL
I wasn't here to sacrifice a human being. I was here to sacrifice your prejudices.
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Shouting]
By killing a woman and refusing a gay man?
AL
Erm... Yeah?
The crowd cheers.
AL
Ok, I'll be off now!
CROWD
Bye, bye Al!
Al turns around and heads to his ship.
MAN IN CROWD
Wait a minute!
The Man notices a zip on Al's back.
MAN (IN CROWD)
What's this?
AL
Oh, nothing, don't touch that.
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Shouting]
That's what she said.
MAN
Is that a zip?
AL
No, no, I'll be going now.
The man grabs the zip and pulls it down; Al's skin falls off like a costume, to reveal Alf underneath.
MAN
Alf?!
ALF
Hi.
Another alien undoes his costume, revealing himself to be Gordon the Gopher.
RANDOM VOICE IN CROWD [Shouting]
Ha! Where's Philip?
GORDON
F**k off!
MAN
Now, this has took a weird turn.
ALF
For the worst?
MAN
[Beat] The best. [Smiles]
ALF
Aw.
MAN
Now let's all go get a drink.
CROWD
Yay!
Everyone leaves the scene, except for on man.
ONE MAN
This makes no sense. What was the point of all this?
Elmo walks past.
ELMO
Hey, wait up guys!
END
Although I'm sure the alien IS the sexiest. 
sexiest!