JANE IS TALKING TO TIFF (THEY ARE SISTERS)
JANE
I love sharing a flat with you Tiff.
TIFF
Yes Jane but as 2 wild and crazy girls about town without jobs we depend on our dad to pay the rent.
JANE
Yes he's a great guy.
TIFF
Even if he's a viurlently, racist member of the UK independence party who'd have us out on the streets if we went out with any one foreign!
JANE
Ooh Tiff have you met my new boyfriend!
SKA ROLLS IN HE IS A DALEK WITH A BIG STAR OF DAVID ON A CHAIN AROUND HIS NECK AND A SKULL CAP.
JANE
But Tiff he's a dalek! He's a Jewish Dalek! You don't get much more foreign than that!
SKA
Hello darling! Hello darling's sister. Exterminate! Oi gevalt!
SKA KILLS THE CAT WITH A DEATHRAY.
SKA
Put it in the curry! Oi vay!
JANE
That is so racist, so not funny and that cat's so not kosher.
TIFF
We'd have enough money for rent if you're robo-semite-death machine boyfriend stopped killing our cats!
JANE
Shut up! Both of you dad's coming around later to check we've not got Robert mugabe in the cupboard.
TIFF
That's alright I made some jelly and balanced it precariously above the door.
SKA
Oi vey! Exterminate!
JANE
Oh Ska you are so funny.
SCENE 3376
JANE'S DAD IS STANDING COVERED IN JELLY. HE IS ADOLF HITLER AND HE HAS NO TROUSERS ON.
SKA HAS SOME PEARLS ON AND A BLOND WIG.
HITLER
Nein I do not believe you are Margaret Thatcher you shveinhund! You know nothing of icecream production!
SKA
Oi vay! I mean Sieg Heil!
HITLER
What was that? You wheeled cretin?
TINA
Oh dear could this get any worse Jane?
ROBERT MUGABE WALKS OUT OF THE CUPBOARD WITH A GIANT BOWL OF JELLY.
ROBERT
I am Robert Mugabe life time president of Zimbabwe! Where is my trifle?
LIN
It just did!