I suspect this is quite rough but do any of the bits work?
A STERN NURSE WALKS ALONG A ROW OF BEDS WITH PEOPLE LYING ON THEIR BACKS AND APARENTLY GIVING BLOOD.
VO
Tonight on People Unlike Us we look at one of the most misunderstood minorities in the UK.
NURSE GETS TO A BED WHERE THE BLOOD BAG IS SEEMINGLY BEING DEFLATED BY A SECOND PIPPET STUCK IN IT.
NURSE
You again shoo, get out! Get out! Before I call the police (BEAT) and a priest.
WE SEE IN THE SECOND BED IS A VAMPIRE HOOKED UPTO THE BAG BEING EMPTIED.
HE GETS UP AND RUNS FOR IT.
NURSE
And stay out!
VO
Colin is a socially anxious vampire. And one of the 1000s of Monsters trying to get by in credit crunch Britain.
SCENE2
WE SEE THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON SITTING IN THE STREET HE'S DRINKING FROM A CHEAP BOTTLE OF CIDER.
HE HAS A CARDBOARD SIGN READING.
"Lagoon to polluted to live in."
VO
Many of these misunderstood creatures of nightmare want to live ordinary lives like you and me. But thanks to decades of highly prejudiced film making in Hollywood it's near impossible. Often reduced to taking the most demeaning jobs.
SCENE3
A COLLECTION OF FESTIVAL TOILETS IN A SWAMP. A MUMMY STANDS BY THEM HE HAS A SIGN AROUND HIS KNECK.
"Organic Egyptian cotton toilet roll 50P."
HE SEEMS TO BE WEEPING.
SCENE4
A CROWD OF KIDS IN A HUDDLE SHOUTING
KIDS
Get a life! Get a life!
VO
Often this prejudice starts at school.
WE SEE THE KIDS ARE SURROUNDING FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER WHO IS IN SCHOOL UNIFORM.
SCENE5
VARIOUS MONSTERS ARE SITTING IN A CIRCLE COMMUNITY CENTRE.
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER STANDS UP
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER
Accept the living, tolerate the dead?
ALL THE OTHER MONSTERS APPLAUD.
A DALEK ROLLS OUT.
DALEK
Tolerate! Tolerate!
VO
These fiendish creatures of nightmare only want to be accepted, they're just like...hanging on what are you doing?
WE SEE THE MONSTERS ADVANCING ON THE VIEWERS POV.
VO
Aaaghh no!
COLIN THE ANXIOUS VAMPIRE
I am a confident vampire! I am a confident vampire!