House Hunting MP Style sketch

KIRSTIE ALLSOPP AND PHIL SPENCER ARE PRESENT, WITH MARGARET BECKETT

KIRSTIE
Welcome to Relocation, Relocation, Relocation. With me, Kirstie Allsopp and my co-presenter, Phil Spencer. Today we're in London, to help MP Margaret Beckett find her dream home.

PHIL:
And I'm hoping she does, because with my property business in the clink I could really do with the commission.

KIRSTIE:
Margaret, I understand you already have a lovely home in Downing Street, so why are you looking for another just a mile down the road?

MARGARET:
I'd like to be closer to Parliament. I can't bear the commute. The crowds, the traffic -the buses are terrible…

PHIL:
But don't you have a chauffeur-driven car?

MARGARET:
Have you ever been stuck behind the number 9? It's murder.

PHIL:
I once saw a cyclist stuck down the side, against some railings…

KIRSTIE:
Phil! (TO MARGARET) What kind of budget are we looking at here? Half a million? A million?

MARGARET:
Money's not really a problem.

KIRSTIE:
Are you sure? I always advise our clients not to stretch their budgets.

PHIL:
Oh, come on Kirstie! You can't put a price on a dream…Think of the commission.

MARGARET:
No really, it's no object, it's funded by the taxpayer.

KIRSTIE:
Don't you think that's an abuse of public trust? I mean, you're the housing minister!

MARGARET:
And what better way to show my commitment to the tired real estate market than by owning a third property?

KIRSTIE:
Hold on. You already own two houses?

MARGARET:
But of course. A holiday home to rent out, a grace-and-favour home as standard and now one so I'll never be late for Parliament again. And of couse never know when the signing-in bonus might be introduced.

KIRSTIE:
You greedy b…

PHIL:
Erm, join us after the break where we'll be showing Margarett three stunning properties. And don't forget, still to come: we'll be helping Jacqui Smith find a property with a home cinema.

This one seemed to lack your usual pep I dunno felt like the kind of thing I do to often. Repeat the news in an annnoyed fashion.

I have to disagree sooty. I think this is/was a great topic to attack but I do agree that RobO wasn't up to his usual standard. I'm going to write a gag on the this idea too - I had already planned to.

Did you see Ian Hislop shame Alan Duncan on HIGNFY regards this? Brilliant.

Not a bad sketch Rob, but I expect better.

Nice to know I usually have standards and pep Point taken, don't think I took the idea anywhere new and tackled it straight-on, becoming more vitriolic than humourous.

Yes Craig, did enjoy that on HIGNFY.

Rob0 I think the idea is good - but you've picked on the wrong target. The target ( as you mention in the last line ) has to be poor Jacqui Smith, anything to do with expenses or homes has to come down to her.

I like the home cinema, but chuck in a bondage dungeon, a spanking grotto, and loads of bath plugs.

It's been a long day I'm waffling now - sorry.