Another scene. Sorry sooty and Dolly...(elipses)
Steve and Scott are working in a house, both in the lounge, Scott is removing the radiator and Steve is tackling the fire. The customer, the lady, is in the kitchen...
STEVE: Uggh....could do with a another cup of tea
(saying loudly so woman in kitchen can hear, and smirking to himself)
SCOTT: Bloody hell steve
STEVE: What!...dont ask don't get....... aint that right love
(woman walks through to lounge)
WOMAN: Oo yes,that's right, same again...
STEVE: Yup....
WOMAN: Would you like one?...(she asks Scott)
SCOTT: That will be lovely thankyou....
WOMAN: Black coffee again?
SCOTT: Yes please...
Woman walks off with the old cups to the kitchen
Steve shouts
STEVE: Can I have a tad less milk in mine this time love, I do love hot milk, but I do prefer hot tea..ha..
Steve smirking to himself and smiles at scott
The woman doesn't reply
SCOTT: (voice lowered) Steve!....
STEVE: (voice lowered) its alright, she's alright
Steves phone rings, the ringtone is the theme tune to the A team...
Steve smiles as he pulls his phone from his trousers, and seems to take an age to answer it..still smiling
Looking at Scott
STEVE:Hey...huh....A team
SCOTT: Yeah good one....
STEVE: Ah its her indoors again...wonder what she wants now...a moan I bet...
Steve answers the call..eventually
STEVE: I aint getting on no plane fool (reference to the A-team)................like my new ringtone?....oh, you can't hear it.....A Team.......huh......nothat's thunderbirds......whats up?..................(Long pause)...............right?.......well what do you want me to do about it............Well I can't do anything about it can i....im at work.....yes..yes...I know....but im at work aren't i!.......well can't your daughter help you...........gone out again has she......not in college .......there's a change..................well....try your son...he'll be back from school soon.............yep..........yep not bad.........still hurtin is it?.....yeah....alright better be off then.....thanks for that......Yep goin scouts tonight yeah....alright bye.
SCOTT: She alright is she?...how she feeling now? (scott carrying on with the radiator)
Woman walks through with their drinks
WOMAN: (whispers)...il just pop them their for you....
SCOTT: Thankyou very much, thanks..
Steve ignores the fact the woman has just brought him his tea
STEVE: Yeahhh....Goin on about her stomach hurtin still....she had that pissin' hysterectomy 12 weeks ago, and she is still bloody moanin about it.....(puts on a silly voice).....oo..my stomach hurts........whilst im sittin there trying to watch Stargate...or something like...
SCOTT: Or A team re runs....
STEVE: Nar not on ukgold anymore.......Il be sittin there after dinner, relaxin, and all she'll do is piss and moan about her stomach hurtin....I know its an operation,,,but its honestly all the time.....but she'll happily sit there and polish off a pack of chocolate hob knobs in an hour.....and then moan about her belly......and I just lose it, Il say (raises voice) well you've just had a pack of hobknobs in half hour and your moaning to me that your belly ache's!.........bloody hell......that was her then...
SCOTT: I know Steve..
STEVE: She says she hurts and she can't move off the sofa......
SCOTT: oooo....
Woman walks into room...
WOMAN: Got a few biscuits for you...
(walks over with a plate of biscuits, and places them next to scott on the window sill)
WOMAN: I actually had a hysterectomy 2 years ago and it was very painful, I was off work for 20 weeks...
STEVE: Really....god my misses got about another 8 to go then....god!
WOMAN: Well it is a major operation...
STEVE: I know, yeah...I remember when she went for all the old tests.....and coming home crying. I know, it must be a hard thing for a woman to have all their gibblets out...must be a bit depressin. Then again it werent like we were gonna have any more kids, God the ones I got now drive me wild. Dont need anymore......my misses is too old now anyway...so...... don't wanna run the risk of havin one of those Downy ones.
Scott and the lady look on in shock, as Steve carries on working with his back to them. Steve notices the biscuits.
STEVE: You aint got any hobknobs have you love, I don't do digestive.
END OF SCENE.
