Tramp

EXT. PARK BENCH. DAY.

TWO TRAMPS CHATTING.

TRAMP 1: I'm glad I'm homeless.

TRAMP 2: So am I, you know.

TRAMP 1: Bills, mortgages, car payments. We don't know how lucky we are not having any of that crap.

TRAMP 2: And the 9 to 5 grind too, they're all slaves to their possessions.

TRAMP 1: How stupid are these people?

TRAMP 2: I don't know. We're the chosen ones though, make no mistake.

TRAMP 1: We are. God wanted us to be tramps.

TRAMP 2: The ratrace, what a load of bullshit.

TRAMP 1: They're running about like blue arsed flies, none of that with us.

TRAMP 2: Nope, we're chilling, taking it easy.

TRAMP 1: It's great though, the tramp life. Everyday's a party.

TRAMP 2: Everyday, not just the weekends, every bloody day.

TRAMP 1: We've brought so much to the world and we never got recognition for it.

TRAMP 2: I know, you look at all the famous tramps down the years.

TRAMP 1: Yeah, like?

TRAMP 2: Erm.

TRAMP 1: Jesus.

TRAMP 2: Bingo, Jesus. Jesus never wore socks and no socks equals vagrancy.

TRAMP 1: Yep, it's the classic tramp formula.

TRAMP 2: Zola Budd, there's another one, no socks again.

TRAMP 1: Zola wouldn't be up there with Jesus but still, a famous tramp is a famous tramp.

TRAMP 2: She wouldn't but the fact that Jesus Christ, the most important man ever to live was a tramp. Well, I'm actually feeling quite snobbish knowing all this.

TRAMP 1: Mate, I've got such a superiority complex at the minute it's unreal.

TRAMP 2: You still stink of shit though.

I'm not keen.

No worries, thanks.

I think it had promise.
Maybe if he had more belief that tramps are the chosen ones.
We Reek & shall inherit the earth.

I threw a little paddy and deleted this post.

Quote: WoodMeister @ April 26 2009, 8:00 AM BST

I quite like this and my opinion is worth far more than anyone else's so you should certainly pay attention to it. I'd cut the Zola bit, just focus on Jesus as the 'Tramp Idol' kinda thing that they use to show their superiority over normal folk. Trim it down by about 30%, keep the punchline which amuses me even though it's juvenile. If you keep the tramps speaking in a quite intelligent way, maybe even amp it up a bit somehow, throw in an intellectual reference here and there, then finish on a punchline like 'You still stink of shit though' it should work well.

View original

Cheers Woodmeister, it was just a nucleus of an idea so your pointers would help it.