Meaty Beef

INT. BUTCHERS

A customer enters the shop and strolls up to the counter.

CUSTOMER
Beef, please.

BUTCHER
Sorry?

CUSTOMER
Beef, please.

BUTCHER
Oh, we don't do that here.

CUSTOMER
Really?

BUTCHER
Yes, I'm not a liar.

CUSTOMER
Oh, no. I wasn't implying that. I'm just surprised you don't sell beef.

BUTCHER
What is surprising about me, NOT, selling beef?

CUSTOMER
Well, most butchers, DO, sell beef.

BUTCHER
Ah, but I'm not most butchers.

CUSTOMER
Then what do you sell?

BUTCHER
Meat!

CUSTOMER
Beef is meat.

BUTCHER
Really?

CUSTOMER
Are you calling ME a liar?

BUTCHER
No, I'm just surprised beef is meat.

CUSTOMER
What is surprising about beef being meat?

BUTCHER
Well, it's spelled differently.

CUSTOMER
Oh, I suppose it is. Well, OK then. Can I have some meat, please?

BUTCHER
Certainly sir, what kind?

CUSTOMER
Hmmm, beef?

BUTCHER
Coming right up.

The Butcher hands the customer his order.

The End

This sounded better in my head. Do you agree?

I like it. F**king stupid, but it genuinely made me laugh.

A bit nuts, but good. Unsure about him having beef in the end, but liked the dialogue throughout.

A nice little sketch where all the humour is in the pace and rhythmn

reminesent of Zippy the Pinheads, Spam Jam and Pam sandwich.

Thanks, I wasn't too sure about this one.

This is good, Leevil. Language, I thought was a touch stilted in delivery but you always come up with good ideas.

I second Slags opinion about the unrealistic speech patterns...yes I do, I'm not a liar.

Cheers dudes, will take note of that.

It's the unrealistic speach patterns that make it funny.

Quote: sootyj @ April 28 2009, 8:05 AM BST

It's the unrealistic speach patterns that make it funny.

View original

^ what he said.

I laughed reading it. Good sketch Leevil.

Cheers y'all.

Very funny! It's the dialogue that does it