Take me to your leader

EXT. ARIZONA DESERT. NIGHT.

THE U.S. PRESIDENT IS FLANKED BY AN AIDE AND AN AIR FORCE GENERAL. THEY ARE ALL LOOKING TOWARDS AN OBJECT OUT OF SHOT.

PRESIDENT
This is incredible. I am going to be making first contact with an alien intelligence. Me!

AIDE
You are the leader of the free world, sir.

PRESIDENT
Yes, but ...first contact!

THE AIDE AND THE GENERAL EXCHANGE GLANCES. THE PRESIDENT CATCHES THEM DOING SO.

AIDE
The first formal contact.

GENERAL
The aliens have been observing us, since, well...

AIDE
Since you shot down that spaceship over Roswell.

GENERAL
Hey! We thought it was a weather balloon.

PRESIDENT
This is terrible... they're going to be pissed. Their intentions are peaceful, right?

AIDE
Don't concern yourself Mr. President. There have been numerous subsequent interactions, all quite harmless.

GENERAL
That is correct, sir. To the best of our knowledge the aliens have never harmed anyone whom they have abducted.

PRESIDENT
Abducted?!

AIDE
Everyone has been safely returned, sir. Well, apart from Elvis. I still think we could have come up with a more dignified cover story there.

GENERAL
Our belief, sir, is that the aliens have been seeking a way to communicate. Their wish to meet us shows that they have been successful in their experiments.

PRESIDENT
What experiments?

AIDE
It seems the aliens communicate very differently to us. They use anal communication.

PRESIDENT
Anal....?

GENERAL
Yes, sir, through insertion.

AIDE
With probes.

THEY ARE BATHED IN A GLOW OF LIGHT. THE AIDE GENTLY PUSHES THE PRESIDENT FORWARD.

AIDE
Just go out there, sir, and drop your trousers on behalf of the whole human race.

THE GENERAL SALUTES THE PRESIDENT, WHO GULPS AND STEPS FORWARD OUT OF SHOT.

AFTER A FEW MOMENTS, THE AIDE AND THE GENERAL BOTH WINCE AND LOOK AWAY.

AIDE
He'll be all right. He's used to talking out his ass.

END.

I like it.

Good and good idea but maybe intro could be a bit tighter.

I liked it.
But I always like a good sketch about aliens.

Another good one Timbo,

Just maybe try to tighten up a wee bit.

Cheers guys. I think I am going to leave the intro, as I want to allow the President time to get excited before his bubble is burst. I have trimmed a bit of exposition, but I am not sure I can see where else to make cuts.

As Morrace isn't here to edit

AIDE
It seems the aliens communicate very differently to us. They use anal communication.

PRESIDENT
Anal....?

GENERAL
Yes, sir, through insertion.

AIDE
With probes.

THEY ARE BATHED IN A GLOW OF LIGHT. BIGFELLA GENTLY PUSHES THE PRESIDENT FORWARD.

BIGFELLA:
Just maybe try to tighten up a wee bit

The anal probe idea always seems a little obvious, but I liked how you lead into it and like how you've set up the reveal etc.

.
A really funny idea, Timbo. A great punch-line. Yes, I agree with Sootyj & Bigfella that it could be tighter. However, the more I read it; I saw potential for more gags – especially if the **President were named. **

**Obama and all relevant gags edited out. As Timbo rightly says, 'Obama being reamed is just not so satisfying' – until of course he has completed his 'honeymoon' (similar to Tony Blair's in 1997). Watch this space ('scuse pun).
________________________________________________________________________________

EXT. ARIZONA DESERT. NIGHT.

THE U.S. PRESIDENT IS FLANKED BY AN AIDE AND AN AIR FORCE GENERAL. THEY ARE ALL LOOKING TOWARDS AN OBJECT OUT OF SHOT.

PRESIDENT: This is incredible. I'm going to be the first human to make contact with an alien from another planet.

AIDE: You are the leader of the free world, sir.

PRESIDENT: Yes, but ...first contact – me!

AIDE: The first formal contact, Sir.

GENERAL The aliens have been observing us, since, well...

AIDE: Since the Air Force shot down that saucer over Roswell.

GENERAL They thought it was a weather balloon.

PRESIDENT: Their intentions are peaceful, right?

AIDE: Don't worry Mr. President; all informal contacts have been harmless.

GENERAL They've never harmed anyone they've abducted.

PRESIDENT: Abducted?!

AIDE: They've all been safely returned, sir. Well, apart from Elvis. I still think we could have come up with a more dignified cover story there.

GENERAL You think so?

AIDE Yes. I think, say, "Elvis has left the planet" would have been more suitable.

GENERAL The Aliens' wish to meet us proves that they have been successful in their experiments.

PRESIDENT: What experiments?

AIDE:They communicate differently to us. They use anal communication.

PRESIDENT: Anal?

AIDE: With probes.

THEY ARE BATHED IN A GLOW OF LIGHT. THE AIDE GENTLY PUSHES THE PRESIDENT FORWARD.

AIDE Just go out there, sir, and drop your trousers on behalf of the whole human race.

THE GENERAL SALUTES THE PRESIDENT, WHO GULPS AND STEPS FORWARD OUT OF SHOT.

AFTER A FEW MOMENTS, THE AIDE AND THE GENERAL BOTH WINCE AND LOOK AWAY.

AIDE He'll be all right. He's used to talking out his ass.

________________________________________________________________________________

.

Yes, when I was writing the original I deeply regretted that Dubya was no longer in the Oval Office. Obama being reamed is just not so satisfying.

I very much like 'Elvis has left the Planet'.

Very good, I did laugh out loud at the end.
Nice descriptive's.

Could Have a random ending:

Elvis walks out of spaceship, along with Tupac and Bruce Lee.

''Where have the hell have you lads been?....uh huh huh''...