JORDAN IS ON THE PHONE
JORDAN
Watcha mean I can't get on Oprah? I've 'ad loads of plastic surgery to talk about. My tits been shrunk, my minge put on sideways and a new arse hole fitted.
OOV PETE ANDRE.
PETE
What's that mysterious girl?
JORDAN
Not you f**k wit, it's me other arsehole.
Any way who have they got on?
(PAUSE)
The McCaines the people who invented microchips?
(PAUSE)
I am so bloody sick of competing with dead people. First Jade getting cancer and now this.
Well 2 can play at that game.
Oi Harvey get over here I've left a donut in the microwave, right at the back.