Jim & Frank move a wardrobe

Hello all, like most of my stuff this is more a piece of dialogue than an actual sketch so please ridicule accordingly. All feedback appreciated as always, although good honest feedback is less appreciated than bowing praise and money offers.

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JIM & FRANK ARE TAKING A WARDROBE DOWN SOME STAIRS

JIM
Awe, I've got a cracking joke mate, you wanna hear it?

FRANK
Uh-huh.

JIM
Okay, three guys, or was it four, anyway, so they walk into a bar and the Englishman says "Can I have a pint?"

FRANKIE
Are they all different nationalities or what?

JIM
No.

FRANKIE
It's just, you said THE Englishman like the other men were of different nationality.

JIM
There's only one other guy anyway, and he's English too.

FRANKIE
Do you even know where you're going with this?

JIM
Shellys room, I think.

Nice twist at the end.

I liked. Good dialogue, but not too confusing on the way. I think you can safely lose "the number's irrelevant" cos we get it anyway from 3 or 4 (and finally two)

I like this punchline is a little soft. but the guy who can't tell a joke is a standard and this does it well.

Maybe if Shelley's room was actually a punchline?

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ April 24 2009, 12:59 AM BST

Nice twist at the end.

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Cheers Nigel!

Quote: Badge @ April 24 2009, 1:12 AM BST

I liked. Good dialogue, but not too confusing on the way. I think you can safely lose "the number's irrelevant" cos we get it anyway from 3 or 4 (and finally two)

View original

Cheers Badge. Reading it over, you're spot on. Removed

Quote: sootyj @ April 24 2009, 8:09 AM BST

I like this punchline is a little soft. but the guy who can't tell a joke is a standard and this does it well.

Maybe if Shelley's room was actually a punchline?

View original

Cheers Sooty. Will try another few punchlines on this one and post them up later.