The Initiation

ALL FEEDBACK APPRECIATED

__________________

INVIGILATOR
First time?

RICHARD CURTIS
Hi, yes, I'm a bit nervous

INVIGILATOR
Don't worry, you'll be fine.

RICHARD CURTIS
Ha, thanks.

INVIGILATOR
Can I have your script now?

RICHARD CURTIS
Yes

RICHARD HANDS HIM A FLASH DISK.

INVIGILATOR
Now, you're sure you want to do this?

RICHARD CURTIS
I think so

INVIGILATOR
Okay, here goes

THE INVIGULATOR UPLOADS THE SCRIPT ONTO THE COMPUTER

INVIGILATOR
I've posted it now, there's no turning back.

RICHARD CURTIS
Okay, how long do I have to wait for a reply?

A GANG (MARC P, DOLLY DAGGER, BEN & KENNETH) COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND START BEATING UP RICHARD. THE GANG DISPERSE, LEAVING RICHARD ON THE FLOOR BLOODY, BATTERED AND BRUISED.

V.O. (SOOTYJ)
Welcome to the critique forum, motherf**ker!

eh?

Quote: sootyj @ April 22 2009, 11:44 AM BST

eh?

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lol. I was trying to capture one's first post on the critique forum and the harsh reality which greets so many.

I think people on this forum are far too nice, generally.

Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ April 22 2009, 12:47 PM BST

I think people on this forum are far too nice, generally.

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You should post more

Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ April 22 2009, 12:47 PM BST

I think people on this forum are far too nice, generally.

View original

True. I remember one of my very early sketches on here was praised by a nice man. I think his name was Jacob Bingnut.

Quote: Craig H @ April 22 2009, 10:38 AM BST

A GANG (MARC P, DOLLY DAGGER, BEN & KENNETH) COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND START BEATING UP RICHARD. THE GANG DISPERSE, LEAVING RICHARD ON THE FLOOR BLOODY, BATTERED AND BRUISED.

View original

I've made it!

Quote: Ben @ April 22 2009, 4:44 PM BST

True. I remember one of my very early sketches on here was praised by a nice man. I think his name was Jacob Bingnut.

I've made it!

View original

Easily Ben

What did you think of the sketch?

Quote: Craig H @ April 22 2009, 4:48 PM BST

What did you think of the sketch?

View original

Takes a while to get to the punchline.

For this to work at all you'd have to chose a writer everyone agrees is great. I doubt very much that would be Richard Curtis.

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Ace! Top hole!

Nice dialogue too.

So the point is we'd lay into middle of the road wank master Curtis.
Too true, why not reccomend a decent writer for ironic purposes.

lmao....how fitting these replies are

*adds David Bussell to the gang*

@ David, I was thinking 'obvious' hence I went for Richard Curtis. Who do you suggest I replace him with?

Thanks for all the replies.

Quote: Craig H @ April 22 2009, 5:12 PM BST

lmao....how fitting these replies are

*adds David Bussell to the gang*

@ David, I was thinking 'obvious' hence I went for Richard Curtis. Who do you suggest I replace him with?

@ sooty...who do you suggest I replace Richard with? bare in mind you are calling them a mofo so it could ruin any chances you have of collaborating with them at any point in the future.

Thanks for all the replies.

View original

Quote: Craig H @ April 22 2009, 5:14 PM BST

lmao....how fitting these replies are

*adds David Bussell to the gang*

@ David, I was thinking 'obvious' hence I went for Richard Curtis. Who do you suggest I replace him with?

Thanks for all the replies.

View original

I'm in a gang now? Is it a dancing gang or a knifing gang? Because I can't dance for shit.

I wouldn't suggest you change anything, Craig. It's a dead-end so why bother? Put your efforts into something that might to appeal to more than a handful of comedy misfits and then we'll talk about redrafting.

Quote: David Bussell @ April 22 2009, 5:25 PM BST

I'm in a gang now? Is it a dancing gang or a knifing gang? Because I can't dance for shit.

I wouldn't suggest you change anything, Craig. It's a dead-end so why bother? Put your efforts into something that might to appeal to more than a handful of comedy misfits and then we'll talk about redrafting.

View original

And your knifing is pretty subpar.

I laugh at you from my hospital bed.

Quote: David Bussell @ April 22 2009, 5:25 PM BST

It's a dead-end so why bother? Put your efforts into something that might to appeal to more than a handful of comedy misfits and then we'll talk about redrafting.

View original

One man's 'dead end' is a comedy misfit's

Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!

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