British Comedy Guide

MI6's Obama Secret

Gordon Brown meets "M" head of MI6

Gordon :M, as President Obama has cleaned up the CIA, I want guarantees there is no torture going on at MI6. Can you assure me don't use water boarding.

M: Water boarding? Christ No Prime Minister. What with obesity rates, most of our new agents can't even swim.

Gordon: M, Water boarding is a simulated drowning technique.

M: Oh that. No that's a bit advanced for us. We use the traditional British Public School method<beat> We push the buggers heads down the bog and then give it a damn good flush.

Gordon: Excellent.

M: On the subject of the new President. Our man in Washington has come up with an issue.

Gordon: Really?

M: We've done a lot of undercover work and...

M looks around to make sure that no one is listening.

M: His middle name is Hussain!

Gordon: (Slowly) Yes?

M: Well don't you see it's the same as.........that man .

Gordon: I see what you're getting at. I agree it's an important matter.

M: Oh good, I thought you might think I was being stupid.

Gordon: No, I know this summer is important. Anything we can do to help. I didn't even know he played, most Americans don't.

M: Sorry?

Gordon: Is he a bowler? We're short of those.

M: Lost you I'm afraid. Prime Minister.

G: You were comparing him to Nasser Hussain.....Ex England Captain....I assumed you wanted Barrack in the England team for the Ashes.

Not bad bigfella. I liked the name twist but not sure about the ending? I don't think it's got enough punch.

Just a small grammar edit:

Gordon : M, as President Obama has cleaned up the CIA, I want guarantees there is no torture going on at MI6. Can you assure me (you) don't use water boarding.

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