Government Sleeze

Gordon Brown, Jacqui Smith, David Milliband and Harriet Harman are having a meeting.

Gordon: This ballot fixing scandal! Another f**king embarrassment, what is happening in this party?

Everyone's eyes turn to look at Jacqui.

Jacqui: Bugger off you lot! Why look at me when the word "embarrassment" is mentioned?

David : It's because Alistair hasn't been arsed to turn up. So you're the next best target.

Gordon : It' all been sleaze, sleaze, sleaze recently...expenses , smear emails, and now trying to rig an election!

Harriet: Jacqui Are you sure that it wasn't your husband trying to look inside the ballot box?

Jacqui: Why?

Harriet: It's got a great big X on the front! I bet he thought there were porno films in it!

Jacqui: Oh piss off Harriet. Gordon has made it very clear I'm doing a good job!

Gordon: Yes, that's the other thing – lying! We've been doing far too much of it.

David: Is this is a clear up sleaze meeting then?

Gordon: Absolutely. As of now a zero tolerance policy. Right does anyone have any further confessions to make before we put this into operation?

Harriet: Well....it might have been my fault about those rumours about Cameron's embarrassing illness.

Jacqui: Ha Ha! It all comes out now you little shit stirrer!

Gordon: Shut up Jacqui. Go on Harriet.

Harriet: Well I was a bit short of cash the other week and I was moaning to McBride that it wasn't fair because Cameron had piles. I think he misunderstood!

Gordon: Okay, anyone else? No more skeleton's?. No? Good. At least the slate is now clean! With all this sleaze this government has been in danger of turning out like John Major's administration.

David: Oh shit! I think I've f**ked up!

Gordon: How?

David: I think we might be more like Major's administration than we thought!

Harriet: Why?

David : When I was out at dinner last night.The press were taking pictures and everything!

Jacqui: What's wrong with that?

David: I ate Curry!

Ends

I liked this, Bigfella, and think it would work well on radio. The last gag made me squirm - although a pause before it registered. Wonder if you could make more of that bit, for the eeuuwww! factor?

A punchline about John Major's affair! Audacious. But would that play with a 2009 audience? It was rather a footnote even when it came out. Again, I think this has good stuff in but is too wordy. You've tried to put too much in one sketch. You could try splitting it into 2 or 3 chunks as a runner. Jaqui Smiths husband and the x on the ballot box would be where I'd end the first one.

Hope this is useful.

Cheers for the comments guys.

Ponderer - I try to come up with the punchlines and then work backwards. The ballot box line was what I came up with for this, but it then evolved into more. I think I didnt want to end on that line as the punch on the Jedi sketch was about JS's husband. But maybe my first gut feeling was right! Thanks for your thoughts.