INT. ROOM.
VARIOUS MOURNERS DRESSED IN FUNERAL ATTIRE ARE CHATTING AND SIPPING TEA. THE ROOM IS ADORNED WITH A SWASTIKA FLAG AND PORTRAIT OF HITLER.
MAN: (hugs woman)
Ethel, I'm really sorry about Fred. Right to his bitter end he was a dyed in the wool racist.
ETHEL:
Thanks Jim, you know, he was a good decent old style Nazi.
MAN:
I know love, he would put a lot of these nu-nazis to shame. It's all anti Muslim with them, but Fred, he hated all creeds and colours, a true Aryan brother he was.
A WOMAN (JUNE) SITS BESIDE ETHEL.
JUNE: (consoling Ethel)
It's a terrible loss. Fred was a pillar of the community. I'll never forget him bollocking those young lads for spray painting the swastika the wrong way round.
ETHEL: (sobbing)
I'll miss the fun we had together. He loved me urinating on him, just like Adolf.
JUNE:
Listen pet, I'll bet that Eva Braun is peeing on Fred and Hitler right now, up in heaven.
ETHEL:
Aww, that's a lovely thought dear.
JUNE:
What if I ask my Bill to come round now and again and you can give him a sprinkle?
ETHEL:
That's a kind gesture June, ta ever so much.
JUNE:
That's what friends are for love. (PAUSE) Fred had the place looking well Ethel, right and proper like a White Supremacist's house should.
ETHEL:
He loved his Nazi memorabilia he did and it wasn't all for show either. (PAUSE) Fancy a plum?
ETHEL LIFTS A NAZI WAR HELMET WHICH IS FULL OF FRUIT.
JUNE:
Ta love, and the good thing about the German stuff is that it holds it value, just like the Volkswagen Golf.
A SMALL FIGURE DRESSED IN A KU KLUX KLAN OUTFIT RUNS INTO THE ROOM. HE TAKES OFF HOOD TO REVEAL A BOY.
ETHEL:
Frederick, come here a minute. Gran's got a pressie for you.
ETHEL HANDS THE BOY A LARGE FLAT PARCEL WHICH HE OPENS.
BOY: (amazed look on face)
Wow, is this real Jewish skin grandma?
ETHEL: (sobbing)
Yes, its an original, it was Fred's pride and joy. He wanted you to have it when he passed away. Go outside and play with it, there's a good boy.
CAMERA PANS DOWN TO REVEAL SKIN COLOURED KITE.
JUNE:
Bless, its still in perfect condition.
ETHEL:
It must have been from a German Jew.
