Hey all,
As the title suggests this is a neverending script (hopefully). Basically, you can add one line/sentence/phrase/action to the script.
EXT. - A DINGHY, INDIAN OCEAN
3 MEN ARE SAT IN A DINGHY JUST OFF THE COAST OF SOMALIA. THERE IS A SHIP IN THE DISTANCE. ONE OF THE MEN (MARCUS) GRABS THE BINOCULARS.
EXT. - A DINGHY, INDIAN OCEAN
3 MEN ARE SAT IN A DINGHY JUST OFF THE COAST OF SOMALIA. THERE IS A SHIP IN THE DISTANCE. ONE OF THE MEN (MARCUS) GRABS THE BINOCULARS.
MARCUS
Tim, Tim wake up, look over there!
MARCUS POINTS INTO THE DISTANCE TOWARDS THE SHIP. TIM WIPING HIS EYES LOOKS INTO THE DISTANCE.
EXT. - A DINGHY, INDIAN OCEAN
3 MEN ARE SAT IN A DINGHY JUST OFF THE COAST OF SOMALIA. THERE IS A SHIP IN THE DISTANCE. ONE OF THE MEN (MARCUS) GRABS THE BINOCULARS.
MARCUS
Tim, Tim wake up, look over there!
MARCUS POINTS INTO THE DISTANCE TOWARDS THE SHIP. TIM WIPING HIS EYES LOOKS INTO THE DISTANCE.
TIM
Hey, it's a ketch!
MARCUS
Ketch?
TIM
Yes. A ketch is a sailing craft with two masts: a main mast, and a shorter mizzen mast abaft (rearward) of the main mast, but forward of the rudder. Both masts are rigged mainly fore-and-aft. From one to three jibs may be carried forward of the main mast when going to windward. If a ketch is not rigged for jibs it is called a cat ketch, sometimes called a periauger. On older, larger ketches the main mast may also carry one or more square rigged topsails. A ketch may also carry extra sails ----
TIM
(INTERRUPTS) You mean ...?
MARCUS
Yes - a never-ending ketch. (TAKES A DEEP BREATH) The lowest fore-and-aft sail on the main mast is called the mainsail, while that on the mizzen is called the mizzen sail. These may be any type of fore-and-aft sail, in any combination. The Scots Zulu, for example, had a dipping lug main with a standing lug mizzen. The ketch is popular among long distance cruisers as the additional sail allows for a better balance, and a smaller more easily handled ....
TIM
(INTERRUPTS)
This sailing craft with two masts: a main mast, and a shorter mizzen mast abaft (rearward) of the main mast, but forward of the rudder. Both masts are rigged mainly fore-and-aft. From one to three jibs may be carried forward of the main mast when going to windward. If a ketch is not rigged for jibs it is called a cat ketch, sometimes called a periauger. On older, larger ketches the main mast may also carry one or more square rigged topsails. A ketch may also carry extra sails ----
MARCUS
Yes ?
TIM
Can you pinpoint it's current position ?
MARCUS
No I only have it's EX Position
TIM
I say what's that surfacing in front of us!
A HUGE SUBMARINE SURFACES STRIPED IN RED YELLOW AND GREEN
MARCUS
Is it a submarine?
SUBMARINE PLAYS DEFEANING BASS HEAVY MUSIC.
TIM
No it's a dubmarine!
A PIRATE APPEARS IN THE CONNING TOWER
PIRATE
Yaaarr! prepare your filled pastry filled products for inspection by a standardised system yee landlubbers!
MIKE
Eek pie rates!
TIM
Kiss me and talk about Barrack Obama you imeptuos fool these puns are getting dull.
MARCUS
Yes ?
TIM
Can you pinpoint it's current position ?
MARCUS
No I only have it's EX Position
TIM
It's EX Position? That's not really good enough, Marcus, seeing as you served on HMS Neverending for five years and organised team building events, won sailing contests, sponsored charity events and just when you thought you could retire from the navy you end up on a dinghy. You know what that is don't you?
MARCUS
Of course I do! It's a type of small boat, often carried or towed by a larger vessel. The term can also refer to small racing yachts or recreational open sailing boats. Utility dinghies are usually rowboats or have an outboard motor, but some are rigged for sailing. Because the smaller sailing dinghy responds more quickly to maneuvers, it is more suitable for beginner training in sailing than full-sized sloops.
TIM
So how come with all your seafaring knowledge, you can only get its EX Position?
.
MARCUS
Because it's round the other side now, you idiot!
TIM
So how come with all your seafaring knowledge, you can only get its EX Position?
MARCUS
Because it's round the other side now, you idiot!
TIM
Calm down, calm down, it's only a ketch. The way you're behaving, maybe its EX position was up your arse!
.
A larger, simialr vessel looms into view
MARCUS
Oh my, the mother ship - the most notourious vessel ever to sail these seas!
TIM
You don't mean?
MARCUS
The Etcha Ketch!
The story so far - including Sootyj's contribution!
EXT. - A DINGHY, INDIAN OCEAN
3 MEN ARE SAT IN A DINGHY JUST OFF THE COAST OF SOMALIA. THERE IS A SHIP IN THE DISTANCE. ONE OF THE MEN (MARCUS) GRABS THE BINOCULARS.
MARCUS
Tim, Tim wake up, look over there!
MARCUS POINTS INTO THE DISTANCE TOWARDS THE SHIP. TIM WIPING HIS EYES LOOKS INTO THE DISTANCE.
TIM
Hey, it's a ketch!
MARCUS
Ketch?
TIM
Yes. A ketch is a sailing craft with two masts: a main mast, and a shorter mizzen mast abaft (rearward) of the main mast, but forward of the rudder. Both masts are rigged mainly fore-and-aft. From one to three jibs may be carried forward of the main mast when going to windward. If a ketch is not rigged for jibs it is called a cat ketch, sometimes called a periauger. On older, larger ketches the main mast may also carry one or more square rigged topsails. A ketch may also carry extra sails ----
TIM
(INTERRUPTS) You mean ...?
MARCUS
Yes - a never-ending ketch. (TAKES A DEEP BREATH) The lowest fore-and-aft sail on the main mast is called the mainsail, while that on the mizzen is called the mizzen sail. These may be any type of fore-and-aft sail, in any combination. The Scots Zulu, for example, had a dipping lug main with a standing lug mizzen. The ketch is popular among long distance cruisers as the additional sail allows for a better balance, and a smaller more easily handled ....
TIM
Can you pinpoint it's current position ?
MARCUS
No I only have it's EX Position
TIM
So how come with all your seafaring knowledge, you can only get its EX Position?
MARCUS
Because it's round the other side now, you idiot!
TIM
Calm down, calm down, it's only a ketch. The way you're behaving, maybe its EX position was up your arse!
MARCUS You wish - ha!
TIM
I say what's that surfacing in front of us!
A HUGE SUBMARINE SURFACES STRIPED IN RED YELLOW AND GREEN
MARCUS
Is it a submarine?
SUBMARINE PLAYS DEFEANING BASS HEAVY MUSIC.
TIM
No it's a dubmarine!
A PIRATE APPEARS IN THE CONNING TOWER
PIRATE
Yaaarr! prepare your filled pastry filled products for inspection by a standardised system yee landlubbers!
MIKE
Eek pie rates!
TIM
Kiss me and talk about Barrack Obama you imeptuos fool these puns are getting dull.
PIRATE
Yaaarr! Shiver me knickers - f**kin' queers! (DIVES INTO SEA)
TIM
(TO MARCUS) See? That's how you get rid of pirates.
MARCUS (POINTS AT MIKE) Who are you?
MIKE I'm Mike.
MARCUS PUSHES MIKE INTO THE SEA.
TIM My God! Why did you do that?
MARCUS
He can't spell pirates.
TIM
Maybe it was a pun - pie rates - the cost of a pie.
MARCUS
In a life or death situation in the middle of the Indian Ocean, I don't give the benefit of the doubt - okay!
TIM
It's amazing when you've been adrift in a dingey for several weeks that you can actually see the words people speak!
MARCUS
Certainly is. By the way, you misspelt dingy just then.
TIM
Oh, sorry. It won't happen again.
A LARGER, SIMILAR VESSEL LOOMS INTO VIEW
MARCUS
Oh my, the mother ship - the most notourious vessel ever to sail these seas!
TIM
You don't mean?
MARCUS
The Etcha Ketch!
TIM
Practice what you preach. You misspelt notorious just then.
MARCUS
For f**k's sake, get your priorities right! There's a life-threatening Etcha Ketch rushing at us and all you worry about is spelling?
.
MARCUS & TIM HAVE FEAR WRITTEN ALL OVER THEIR FACES, THEY BOTH TURN TO AARON. AARON PUTS HIS FISHING ROD DOWN.
AARON
Right boys...Marcus, get the udderer in place, Tim, you know what to do
..
UK MORRACE... 
I'm too slow a typer. sorry.
MARCUS & TIM HAVE FEAR WRITTEN ALL OVER THEIR FACES, THEY BOTH TURN TO AARON. AARON PUTS HIS FISHING ROD DOWN.
AARON
Right boys...Marcus, get the udderer in place, Tim, you know what to do.
TIM
What?
AARON
Tell him Balf.
BALF
I'm too slow a typer. sorry.
AARON
Ty - pist!
MARCUS
What - on sea water?
.
BALF
No, on Aaron. He loves the wet-play.
Hold on lads! I've just realised - this is posted in - wait for it - Critique - that is "Post your work for others to review, criticise, and provide feedback on."
So come on - rip it to bits! Take advantage of Craig H's fatal error!
Heh, heh! Be right back.