INT.A MAN ENTERS AN INTERVIEW ROOM, SHAKES INTERVIEWERS HAND AND SITS DOWN. THE INTERVIEWER NOTICES CUTS ON HIS WRISTS.
INTERVIEWER
Andy is it?
ANDY
Yea, Andy, I'm a professional depressionist.
INTERVIEWER
(bewildered)
A PROFESSIONAL depressionist?
ANDY
Who cares.
INTERVIEWER
Erm, okay, well, we only have one position left, security guard. It's nightshift, fourteen hour shifts and the majority of your time will be spent looking at them (points to CCTV camera) so...
ANDY
It sounds depressing.
INTERVIEWER
Excellent, start tomorrow.