Professional

SCENE 1 BEDROOM
COUPLE ARE IN BED UNDER THE COVERS. THERE'S A LOT OF MOVEMENT, HUFFING AND PUFFING, KAREN THROWS BACK THE COVERS.

KAREN: Look I can't do it. It's just weird.

JOE: Oh come on, I tried things for you.

KAREN REMOVES STRAP ON FROM UNDER COVERS AND HANDS IT TO JOE.

KAREN: I'm not doing it, I'm sorry Joe we're blatantly not compatible. Maybe if that's the sort of thing you want to do you should get yourself a pro out the classifieds.

KAREN EXITS CRYING.

SCENE 2 FRONT DOOR

DOORBELL RINGS. JOE COME SAUNTERING DOWNSTAIRS WEARING OPEN DRESSING GOWN,SHOWING TIGER PRINT PANTS. LEANS SEXILY AGAINST DOOR FRAME AND OPENS DOOR. WORKMAN STANDING THERE WITH TOOL BOX.

JOE: Hello

WORKMAN LOOKS CONFUSED. HOLDS UP PIECE OF PAPER.

WORKMAN: Hello mate, says ere you need your back doors sorting?

JOE: You'd better come in!

I know this joke...Takes me right back to the days of the Ha Ha Bonk Book and a tale of a gasman with no trousers?

You're right, It's turned very seventies ohh er missus hasn't it ? Bollocks. Back to the drawing board.

You kept it very short, and I think that's why it works for me. It's a familiar setup and reads like a traditional verbal joke, but visualising the punchline as a TV scene caused the coke I was drinking to bubble out of my nose.
Nice one.

Thanks Rhubarb, the visual aspect of him opening the door and the workman being there should have been the punchline and the end. My problem is that I'm not confident or indeed good enough in my descriptive writing to show this. Thats why there's an obvious 70's joke to finish that really has no place within the sketch. Maybe I'll try a re-write

pete