Gordon's Secret Wank List.
Gordon Brown walks in to Jacqui Smith's office with a load of papers under his arm. The top one very clearly, in large letters says "Jobs for today. 1. Sort out economy. 2. Have a wank"
Gordon: More cock ups at the police force I see Jacqui. What do you think?
Jacqui: "Cock ups at the Police Force?" I haven't seen it. If you want an option you better ask my husband.
Gordon: I'm not talking about a f**king porno movie. I'm talking about this massive security blunder! High confidential papers in full view of the press!
Jacqui: He did resign.
Gordon: Of course he did and so he should. What a wanker.
Jacqui looks at the piece of paper.
Jacqui: He's not the only one is he Gordon?
Gordon: What?
Jacqui points at the list.
Jacqui : Gordon. Look. You're showing your list of jobs for today. I really don't think you want the press to be taking a picture of that.
Gordon: Do you really think I would be that stupid. This is a fake list! It's in place to hide my real list of tasks.
Jacqui: What's on the real list then?
Gordon turns over piece of paper. He holds it up as he reads it out.
Gordon: Jobs for today. One. Tell Jacqui she is a fat, nosey, useless bitch, who better not dare to place another step out of line if she wants to keep her job.
Jacqui: Yes Prime Minister.
Gordon: I haven't finished Jacqui!
Jacqui hangs her head. The page Gordon is holding is further revealed.
Gordon: And number two. Have a wank.
) I think you've done better mate.