British Comedy Guide

A load of Pollocks

A MAN IS SITTING AT A DESK WRITING HIS BOSS WALKS IN.

BOSS
Well done on the Pollock account. Switching the name pollock for Collin has increased sales by 200%. How did you come up with the name?

MAN
Well it's my name. Sainsburys liked it?

BOSS
Yes and not just Sainsburys. The National gallery is changing all it's Jackson Pollocks to Jackson Collins, the Sex Pistols most famous album is now Never Mind the Collins.

MAN
Wow so the name Collin is now a euphemism for bollocks? I heard even David Cameron is changing the name of Conservative Futures.

BOSS
Yes Conservative Futures is now Conservative Collins.

MAN
Same old bollocks and it still smells fishy.

I like it.
It's definitely one to send to the News revue.

Yes and what an unbelievable gift of a story.
Could only have been beaten by them renaiming cod the hairy, fanny fish.

I don't know the story so this one confused me. Has the fish pollock been rebranded? In which case this line:

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2009, 5:17 PM BST

Switching the name pollock for Collin has increased sales by 200%.

reads the wrong way round to me (though it could be taken either way). Is there a clearer way of phrasing it so that people like me get the idea quickly?

Will try thanks

And yes Sainsbury has changed the name of the noble Pollock to Colin on account of people thinking it sounds like bollocks.

It all sounds like bollocks to me.

And Colin sounds a bit like colon if you are Colon Poo-all

Or Colon Foul?

Pollocks but a great story.

So now you can talk about nibbling on a nice bit of battered colin?

And guys called Collin will have to avoid chippys.

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