Commentator 1:We're here, it's live, it's the opening match of the World Cup 2010. It's England versus Malawi.
Camera pans across the England Football team, they are all wearing large sunglasses and tight shirts.
Commentator 2:England, under the sponsorship of captain David Beckham.
Commentator 1: Of course we're not the only national team having to resort to charitable donations from celebrities.
Commentator 2:That's right. Scotland will be sponsored by Rod Stewart, Wales by Tom Jones and Ireland by Terry Wogan.
Commentator 1: Some would say that having Posh design the kit was a small concession…
The camera continues panning left to reveal the Malawi team. They are young 12-13 year olds dressed in bright pink leotards with fake conical breasts.
Players names appear on screen: Umtwetwe Ciccone, Azibo Ciccone, Chikose Ciccone…
Commentator 2: Most think we got off lightly….
Good sketch!