GORDON BROWN IS TALKING TO ALISTAIR DARLING.
GORDON
Why are we at war with China
ALISTAIR
Well President Hu of China couldn't sleep so he watched some TV in his bedroom.
And decided the English wanted to start a fight with him.
GORDON
What did he watch?
ALISTAIR
Who do you think you are? Then the Canadian primeminister wasn't at the group photograph.
GORDON
So what?
ALISTAIR
He was furious when you asked who's missing?
GORDON
Is that it? It's even more feeble than why we invaded Iraq.
ALISTAIR
Well the final straw was the scifi show he thought was about fiddling with him?
GORDON
Dr Who? Oh well Alistair now Englands being nuked we might as well repopulate the country. Get undressed.
ALISTAIR
But we're both blokes how well that work?
GORDON
It's that or shag Jaqui or Harriet.