British Comedy Guide

Talk to a stranger Page 5

4587 users onlinethe Funadvice Traffic ExchangeConnecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Got some cocaine?
Stranger: no
Stranger: but I live in the netherlands
Stranger: so I got pot
You: Please I'm desperate I've got this sucky ass job where I can't get none.
You: pot? Aah the audacity of dope.
Stranger: what do you need cocaine for?
You: To sniff dumbass
You: The secret service won't let me near the stuff
Stranger: you sound like erics father from that 70s show
You: Look I just got stuck in this God awful conference in London for like a week and now I want to get wasted and listen to James Brown
Stranger: london has perfect pubs
Stranger: go there
Stranger: drink beer
Stranger: and enjoy
You: I met your primeminister he pinched my ass and said I was damn pretty for a black guy
Stranger: damn, black guys pinching eachothers ass
You: Your primeminister is black? I was really drunk.
Stranger: im not sure, never seem the bloke for real
Stranger: maybe its paint
You: You crazy Dutch guys smoking dope and painting your primeministers.
Stranger: im gonna move on^^
You: The cocaine?

Stranger: hi therw
You: Good day. How be you?
Stranger: I'm fine, and you?
You: radiant, sir. radiant
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

Is that like a contest for who can get cut off first?

Oh Christ, I'm speaking with a Spanish at the moment. Updates soon

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2009, 9:23 PM BST

Is that like a contest for who can get cut off first?

I was at my most charming and that c**t didn't want any of it!

This shit is seriously addictive

Stranger: hi
You: Hi. How are you?
Stranger: not bad thank you
Stranger: how about you?
You: tired.
Stranger: :(
Stranger: whats your name stranger?
You: dan. and yours?
Stranger: Diego
You: I'm guessing then that you're male?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Did I fall asleep?
You: possibly
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Its a new record! Laughing out loud

Against my better judgment, I just gave it a go. The Stranger said "The end is near" and then went silent.

Nobody likes me. Teary

Or he did like you and just wanted to warn you of the forthcoming apocalypse.

Sounds like a nice chap to me.

Shit, you've even got me doing it now.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 100% irish beef
You: Hi stranger
Stranger: hello
You: does that have bovine wotsits?
Stranger: totally
You: you carnivorous?
Stranger: totally
Stranger: do u muzzle your baby?
You: my baby what?
Stranger: muzzle it
Stranger: YOU HAS BABY YES?
You: I has no baby yes?
You: do u has baby yes?
Your conversational partner has disconnected

This fella was a good laugh. I think.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: be my frend
Stranger: is to be nice xd
You: thanx u
Stranger: where are you from :D
Stranger: ?
You: london is where I am being
You: r u xd?
Stranger: its so coolll
Stranger: I love london xd
Stranger: im from brazil :D
You: my name is rio
Stranger: nice miquino :D~~
Stranger: my real name is matheus ...
You: I dance in the sand
You: are you rose?
Stranger: but every one callme quinocore or miqüino
Stranger: how ?
You: hello quinocore
Stranger: hii :D~~
You: do you play football on the beach like every brazillian?
Stranger: no no no
Stranger: eaHUAEhaueHA
You: how do you spell eaHUAEhaueHA?
Stranger: im the city boy
Stranger: hun... ehaUEAh is like a laugh for us
You: but what about eaHUAEhaueHA? I like to learn Portuguese
Stranger: heaUAEh is not used in portuguese.. this is use just in the internet or chats
Stranger: is like a laugh
Stranger: understend ?
You: ok LOL ROFLMAO
Stranger: yeah is like lol
Stranger: xd
You: what is xd?
Stranger: is a smile like this :D
Stranger: xD
Stranger: oi = hi
Stranger: tdobom = whats up
Stranger: tdo bom = im nice
Stranger: eahUEAhea
Stranger: XD
You: I thought it meant cross dresser
You: sorry for confusion
Stranger: heaUHUHEHaueA
You: tdo bom
Stranger: tudo xD
Stranger: you are a crossdresser ?
Stranger: just a joke
You: thanks for chatting matheusinho
Stranger: aeJAEaeHUAEhea
Stranger: XD
You: yes I am XD
You: xd
Stranger: eaHAUEAheauheauH
Stranger: vc é do brasil ne ?
You: eaauauuaghhhhaaaughauieuea
Stranger: pqp
Stranger: so me fodo nessa merda
Stranger: eaHEUAheauH
Stranger: XD
You: you are just using random letters to confuse me
Stranger: eu ainda tentando ser legal
Stranger: pqp
You: YTRMY!!
You: XD
Stranger: no you are from brazil
Stranger: xd
You: no, you are from brazil
You: xd
Stranger: but you callme matheusinho
Stranger: ehaUEAhuea
You: uueauueainho
Stranger: ehaUEAhuea XD
You: good night and thanks for the fun
You have disconnected.

Quote: shaggy292 @ April 6 2009, 9:28 PM BST

This shit is seriously addictive

Damn right. I'm gonna wean myself off now. After I've done that I might be back for more.

You: What r u wearing?
Stranger: BOO!
Stranger: you?
Stranger: nothing
You: A burqa
Stranger: what the FUCK is a burqa?
You: One of those all encompassing robes Muslim women wear.
Stranger: ooh so you're a poor muslim hoe?
You: I am not a gardening implament
You: I am also not a women.
Stranger: too bad
Stranger: I like gardening

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2009, 11:33 PM BST

You: What r u wearing?
Stranger: BOO!
Stranger: you?
Stranger: nothing
You: A burqa
Stranger: what the FUCK is a burqa?
You: One of those all encompassing robes Muslim women wear.
Stranger: ooh so you're a poor muslim hoe?
You: I am not a gardening implament
You: I am also not a women.
Stranger: too bad
Stranger: I like gardening

Genius!
If only for sootyj using a mis-spelling for comedic purposes

I like gardening maywell be the most disturbing line.

Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: This is the day you shall always remember as the day that you almost caught Spoon.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Laughing out loud ?

Stranger: are you there?
You: What's your favourite colour?
Stranger: blue
You: Yes I am here
You: Mine too
Stranger: I like green too
You: Dark or Light blue?
Stranger: light blue
Stranger: and green
You: Nice
You: You can't have 2?
You: Just one favourite colour
Stranger: need a colour for the keeper tho
You: The keeper?
You: The keeper of your heart?
You: The keeper of the holy grail?
You: The keeper of the zoo?
Stranger: the grail! sush
You: Gotcha *wink*
Stranger: ok, light blue!
You: Damn I'm good!
Stranger: you like burning down houses?
You: Not really, dog or doll houses are quite fun
You: Less fire
Stranger: true, but less marshmellows.
You: That's not so good.
Stranger: you ever stroked the hair of a stranger on a bus?
You: I have sniffed the hair of an old man on the bus
You: I have to go
You: Bye

Share this page