A MAN IS PHOTOGRAPHING A CARPARK A CSO STOPS HIM
CSO
Excuse me sir could you put that camera down please.
MAN
But why? It's beautiful and I want to take a picture of it before I destroy it.
CSO
Sir the camera put it down please.
ONTO RADIO
hello, can you get me SO19 I believe I've found a terrorist.
MAN
Don't you recognise me? I'm your father.
CSO
Sir not wishing to seem politically incorrect. But your are a gentleman of colour and both me and my father, Arthur Niblett are caucasian.
MAN
Sorry I always get the terminology wrong. I'm the father of everything; you, your father Arthur Niblett, this glorious multi story car park. I'm God.
CSO ONTO RADIO
Could you send a psychiatrist as well. The suspect appears to be mentally unstable.
MAN
Well that's just bloody rude. I spent 2 centuries designing your colon and this is the thanks I get. Mentally ill? I should smite you for that.
CSO
Yes sir. And next you'll be telling me your Slartibartfast and you desinged the fijords? I have read the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
MAN
Yes good isn't it?
CSO
Look sir assuming you are God, why are you destorying the world?
MAN
Well the worlds boring. I made it to entertain myself. And for the last few millenia it's been a bit you know meh. Like a Sunday afternoon where there's only songs of praise and horse racing.
CSO
So you'd destroy the whole world for boring you, but, but that's monsterous what about art? Shakespeare? Marvin Gaye?
MAN
Not my sort of thing. No the final straw was when Ian Paisley resigned. Something about a great big man in a little hat shouting made me laugh.
CSO
Wait, wait I've got a WAP phone. I'll look some up some TV there must be something worth saving?
CSO GETS PHONE OUT AND FIDDLES WITH IT FRANTICALLY
THE BIG BROTHER THEME PLAYS
DAVINA
Hello and welcome to Celebrity Big Brother 27 with Jeremy Kyle, Dereck Accora and the Ghost of Jade Goody.
CSO
Come to think of it you win mate.
MAN
Told you so.
DESTROYS THE WORLD CHAOS DOESN'T ENSUE
