British Comedy Guide

999

A gang fight is just about to break out. 2 gangs of youths start running towards each other with weapons (swords, knives, baseball bats). A police van skids round the corner and 2 policemen jump out

POLICEMAN 1 (shouts to other policemen in van)
Go round the back, block all escape routes!

They run as fast as they can towards the youths

Policeman 2 jumps on top of someone and puts the cuffs on him. Policeman 1 bends down and looks him in the face.

POLICEMAN 1
You are under arrest, you do not have to say anything, anything you do say will be given in evidence against you....

Struggling, the man interupts

MAN
What the hell are you doing!?

POLICEMAN 1
Dog fouling is a serious offence sir, we saw your dog do it's stuff, we were RIGHT..OVER..THERE (points to behind a tree – feeling proud of himself) and you made no attempt to clean it up sir, did you?

MAN
It's not my bl***dy dog!

POLICEMAN 2
Yea, yea

Camera cuts to the youths. There is blood soaked faces, unconscious bodies on the grass and a few still shouting.

PLICEMAN 2
(shouting at one of the youths)
MARCUS! you make sure you're back for 10 tonight!

Laughing out loud

I like that.

Craig, I love it the way it is, other than I'd have it read:

MAN
It's not my bl***dy dog!

POLICEMAN 2
Yeah, yeah.

The Policeman bundles him into the van, in the background we see blood soaked youths, unconscious bodies on the grass a few are still shouting.

PLICEMAN 2
(shouting at one of the youths)
MARCUS! you make sure you're back for 10 tonight!

That is all :)

A good sketch. Maybe instead of a gang fight it could be Marcus and a few of his mates trying to grapple an old granny's handbag away from her that the Policeman ignores. If the granny's giving as good as she gets then you've added an extra layer of visual comedy in there without even trying.

Good stuff Craig. I don't suppose the dog caught fowling happened to be a (sexiest) dog?

Thanks guys, much appreciated.

I'm 4-5 pages into the 1st draft of my sitcom - will be posting that up soon too - so shredders at the ready :P

Shoepie: not sure the granny would fit as well with the scene - the police van would seem over the top too early :D

Leevil: tut tut...sexiest dog :D

I'd like to see your sitcom. get it uploaded! I'm working on my third attempt, 20 pages in now and it's definitely my best effort so far. I might even send this one out to some prod co's!

Quote: Tom G @ April 2 2009, 2:01 PM BST

I'd like to see your sitcom. get it uploaded! I'm working on my third attempt, 20 pages in now and it's definitely my best effort so far. I might even send this one out to some prod co's!

Nice one Tom. As soon as I reach a showable stage I'll definitely upload it for the great ridicule :D.

I would definitely like to see what you've came up with, I've liked everything I've seen so far from you on the forum. You going to give us a peak?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours!

It's still in the early stages yet. I'm getting it written and then getting it funny!

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