British Comedy Guide

Jacqui's Topical Plan

GORDON BROWN STORMS IN ON JACQUI SMITH. HE'S CARRYING A NEWSPAPER.

GB (WAVING THE PAPER ABOUT):
Jacqui, what the hell is this?

JS:
It's just a teeny little issue with my expenses, Prime Minister. Again.

GB:
I can see that! For a start you've actually declared them! Including payment for two films!

JS:
I can explain, Prime Minister…I was away -at my second house, see- and Richard must've been horny…

GB:
Oceans 13?! Twice? What the hell is wrong with you? Porn, I can understand. But Oceans 13?! The plot's more flimsy than my fiscal policy reforms.

JB (RELIEVED):
Ohhh, that! I thought that might be useful. Y'know, research.

GB:
Research?

JB:
Yes, you know, they break into a vault and steal some money. I thought we could get some of ours back from RBS and Dunfermline Building Society.

GB:
Aha! I knew there must be a good reason you declared expenses. You're a genius! Everyone'll be distracted by the porn, and won't notice our real plan! But how do we get into the vault undetected?

JB (ENCOURAGED):
We just need to shut down the power. It'll disable the security systems.

GB:
How about a massive power cut in Scotland? I'll do it today.

JB:
Yes!! And then we can blame it on those protestors. We're gonna get our money back Gordy! We're really going to do it!

GB:
But what about your husband Richard? Won't he get suspicious?
Or horny again, and pounce on you if you're dressed in a catsuit?

JB:
Don't worry about that. I've sent him to sleep on the sofa. I left the cable TV on.

Sorry, but didn't Dara O'Briain do something like this at the Empire Awards last night?

http://www.empireonline.com/awards2009/awards-blog/

Didn't know about the event let alone the joke. But still, seems they just used the fact they'd rented the film Oceans 13 (which they did) in the joke, rather than the explanation.
Coincidentally, the first line of that blog mentions the Ning Nang Nong which I also posted last night

Robo - I think this is very good and a nice take on the story. You also manage to get other stories in on the sketch.

One problem for me, it needs a better punch.

Cheers, Bigfella. Heard someone say on the news he'd be sleeping on the sofa, thought that could fit nicely. Hopefully I'll get an idea.

Clever sketch and the punchline is nicely underplayed.

You could always mention the film that's on cable everyone loves porn title puns.

Quote: sootyj @ March 30 2009, 10:00 PM BST

Clever sketch and the punchline is nicely underplayed.

You could always mention the film that's on cable everyone loves porn title puns.

Thanks, Sooty. Was trying to err away from that side of things, as anything I can think of probably actually exists.

House of cum-ons? Home Secretaries XV?

Black rod bangs the back door?
House of uncommon sexual practises?

This is what I was afraid of - these can go on forever Huh?

Nineteeneightywhore - She's watching you. And she's got legislation on her side.

House of uncommon sexual practises?

Like that though.

Good sketch Rob,

Can only echo previous comments with regards ti improving it – just needs a bigger ending.

Cheers
Craig

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