GORDON BROWN STORMS IN ON JACQUI SMITH. HE'S CARRYING A NEWSPAPER.
GB (WAVING THE PAPER ABOUT):
Jacqui, what the hell is this?
JS:
It's just a teeny little issue with my expenses, Prime Minister. Again.
GB:
I can see that! For a start you've actually declared them! Including payment for two films!
JS:
I can explain, Prime Minister…I was away -at my second house, see- and Richard must've been horny…
GB:
Oceans 13?! Twice? What the hell is wrong with you? Porn, I can understand. But Oceans 13?! The plot's more flimsy than my fiscal policy reforms.
JB (RELIEVED):
Ohhh, that! I thought that might be useful. Y'know, research.
GB:
Research?
JB:
Yes, you know, they break into a vault and steal some money. I thought we could get some of ours back from RBS and Dunfermline Building Society.
GB:
Aha! I knew there must be a good reason you declared expenses. You're a genius! Everyone'll be distracted by the porn, and won't notice our real plan! But how do we get into the vault undetected?
JB (ENCOURAGED):
We just need to shut down the power. It'll disable the security systems.
GB:
How about a massive power cut in Scotland? I'll do it today.
JB:
Yes!! And then we can blame it on those protestors. We're gonna get our money back Gordy! We're really going to do it!
GB:
But what about your husband Richard? Won't he get suspicious?
Or horny again, and pounce on you if you're dressed in a catsuit?
JB:
Don't worry about that. I've sent him to sleep on the sofa. I left the cable TV on.