British Comedy Guide

The ends of the Earth

EXT. ANTARCTICA, THE HEROIC AGE OF POLAR EXPLORATION.

A TEAM OF PLUCKY BRITS ARE MAN-HAULING A SLED THROUGH A FEROCIOUS BLIZZARD.

THEIR LEADER, CAPTAIN SCOTT, LIFTS HIS GOGGLES, AND BRUSHES THE SNOW FROM HIS EYES.

SCOTT
Dammit, they've beaten us to it!

DOCTOR WILSON SQUINTS INTO THE DRIVING SNOW.

WILSON
The Norwegians?

SCOTT
No, the Germans.

THE BLIZZARD CLEARS SUFFICIENTLY TO REVEAL A SUN LOUNGER WITH A TOWEL DRAPED ACROSS IT.

END.

Nice very nice.

I liked this one too.

Simple, quick and no pretentions. And yet...

In his sketch "The ends of the Earth" is Timbo saying, or holding up to ridicule if you will, the notion that by their very nature Germans...

Nah just joshing Timbo.

I liked this one.

Cheers, guys.

A short sequel, not sure if it adds anything.

EXT. THE SEA OF TRANQUILITY.

NEIL ARMSTRONG IS DESCENDING FROM THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE.

ARMSTRONG
That's one small step for man, one giant leap for... Oh, for pity's sake!

CUT TO THE LUNAR SURFACE, A TOWEL DRAPED ACROSS A SUN LOUNGER.

END.

Like the idea of 'Germans beat us to it' as a recurring sketch.

Yeah loving this one. I was thinking of Moses Kiptanui getting on to the final stretch of the track after coming into the stadium at the end of the Olympic marathon but then I thought, there you go Timbo, dare you to do Moses finally getting the Jews to Israel when...

Nice one.

You may also like to consider this, which is a true story;

I sat on a jet waiting to take off from Malaga when the Captain announced:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we shall be taking off a few minutes earlier than anticipated. The Lufthansa jet on our starboard side was due to take off before us but we have been cleared for take-off before them. I can only assume the pilot forgot to put his towel on the runway"

Racist captain!

Maybe aliens come to invade the planet and the Germans have put a giant space towel over it?

Nice sketches on the old theme.

Quote: sootyj @ March 30 2009, 8:11 AM BST

Racist captain!

Maybe aliens come to invade the planet and the Germans have put a giant space towel over it?

I like that, but would perhaps perceive that as an alien equivalent:

As the final sketch with the twist that a parallel thing happens in space, the aliens coming to invade, then cuts to a picture of earth wrapped in a towel:

ALIEN:
Oh no! Curse those Zondans!

Incidentally, your idea might work well with a WWII sketch e.g. strategic map in German army, General's using sun-loungers to mark strategic positions.

"So, ze'll fight us on the beaches? Ahaha, ve'll see vat zey sink ven zey see we've got our towels down first" kinda thing.

Allied soldiers arriving on the beach, to find towels there, etc.

Surely been done before?

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