Porn

JAQUI SMITH IS BEING INTERROGATED BY GORDON BROWN.

GORDON
Jaqui this government is being taken less seriously than Paris Hilton's opera career and now this, this.

JAQUI
What have I done this time Gordon? Was it my decision to put a camera in every UK toilet to make sure every one wipes properly?

GORDON
No!

JAQUI
Was it my plan to end all mugging of pensioners by banning pensions?

GORDON
No they're all brilliant New Labour ideas. It's these porn films you've been renting on your expenses.

JAQUI
Which one?

GORDON
Fill my ballot box? Fist will stimulate my package?

JAQUI
Sorry Gordon but if we're going to keep trying to copy the Tory's we need to practise being wankers.

GORDON
Good point. Can I borrow G20 gang bang?

Nice one Sooty - especially the bit about good New Labour ideas. One for News Revue I presume?

Possibly needs a bit of tidying up at the end? The gang bang ending is fine but the exchange before that doesn't quite sound like a conversation.

Quote: sootyj @ March 29 2009, 9:25 AM BST

JAQUI
Which one?

GORDON
Fill my ballot box? Fist will stimulate my package?

JAQUI
Sorry Gordon but if we're going to keep trying to copy the Tory's we need to practise being wankers.

GORDON
Good point. Can I borrow G20 gang bang?

View original

Goodpoint but already sent.

Another great piece. Really enjoy reading your scripts sooty. As well as being funny they are helpful for a newbie like me too. EVERY line is comedy without sounding over the top.

Thanks for sharing

Nicely done - I especially like the intro. Humbly suggest it should be shorter? (snappier) I thought the 'pensioner' quip stretched the dialogue too much.