Social etiquette and boundaries Page 3

Quote: Seefacts @ March 26 2009, 11:03 PM GMT

I posted in General, but I think the wider issue deserved it's own thread.

So, picture the scene.

I went to lunch with a friend today. I get to the busy bar and it's packed out, only one table left, which I sit at. It's a table for five. I'm sat there waiting for my friend, whilst I peruse the menu.

My friend joins me, making it two people and three empty seats.

Half-way through our food an old couple approach us and say 'Excuse me, would you mind if we sat and watched you eat (chuckles) Only kidding, we're eating too'. To which I, perhaps rudely, replied 'Well, yes we would'.

Now, had we let them join us it would have effectively ruined our tete-a-tete. We couldn't relax, and talk as frankly as we do. We would have to had stopped swearing or discussing anything risque. The table would have also been quite tight, as it was elliptical.

Now, surely the rule in this situation is - if there's nowhere to sit, you f**k off and find somewhere else?

Did I do the right thing?

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I would've just said we were expecting more friends to arrive soon. Then you get to keep your table, and the old dears don't wander off, shaking their heads sadly at the rudeness of the youth of today. They probably went home and killed themselves, you MONSTER!

Say something like 'Yes, but I must warn you my friend is notoriously flatulent so it won't be pleasant.'

That usually works, the only drawback being the possible response of 'No matter, I doubt they're as flatulent as us.'

Dan

Quote: Marc P @ March 27 2009, 10:13 AM GMT

Some of them do!

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I hate to break it to you, but those people in Doctors are just actors.

Yeah but I got a mention of James Herriot in my last script! Do you see what I did there.

But seriously folks, I'm with Seefacts on this. If I was having a private conversation and a couple of old f**kers wanted to join the table, I'd have just politely made up an excuse about more friends arriving, or - depending on how frail they looked - got up and offered them the table.

But it seems like you made a snap reaction to be rude, probably because your mate was there and you were showing off.

Quote: Marc P @ March 27 2009, 10:23 AM GMT

Do you see what I did there.

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I didn't see it if it was in one of the shows you write for. I'm out during the day.

(Did you see what I did there? )

Quote: Marc P @ March 27 2009, 10:07 AM GMT

Because that would be lying!

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A little white lie for the greater good is surely preferable to being rude?

Quote: don rushmore @ March 27 2009, 11:24 AM GMT

A little white lie for the greater good is surely preferable to being rude?

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No, you should never lie. It is the thin end of the wedge.

I've got a similar problem, my elderly Mum and Dad went into town the other day - poor things, they can only afford to go once a week, plus my Dad had a stroke and has mobility impairment and my Mum suffers from crippling back pain and can only walk a few steps at a time.

Anyways, it was my Dad's birthday and as a little treat, my Mum surprised my Dad by offering to buy him a pint and a pub lunch. It's not much, but money for them is incredibly tight. She took him to the pub they first met in all those years ago and my Dad was delighted. However when they got there, it was a bit crowded.

Despite her failing vision, my dear old Mother managed to find a couple of chairs on a very big table. Unfortunately, there were two able bodied loutish thugs sitting at one end of the table. But thinking that they still lived in the olden days, with that 'everyone pulls together in hard times' spirit, my elderly, crippled parents asked if they could sit at the end of the table.

The stupid old f**kers, they didn't realise that a wannabe comedy writer and his mate were sitting there and had really important things to talk about. Quite rightly, they were told to piss off by the rude and insensitive young men.

As they left the pub, they were hit by a tram and killed instantly.

Never a problem for me! They all take one look and then prefer to go and sit on the bed of nails in the corner.

All these pleasures I'm going to miss!

Quote: Marc P @ March 27 2009, 11:26 AM GMT

No, you should never lie. It is the thin end of the wedge.

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Is overpraise acceptable, Marc?

In what way is being rude to people, especially old people, 'showing off'?

Are you the sort of person who keeps their bag on the seat on the packed bus or train?

If you'd let the couple sit at 'your' table you could have had or heard a really funny conversation - all good material.

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ March 27 2009, 12:19 PM GMT

In what way is being rude to people, especially old people, 'showing off'?

Are you the sort of person who keeps their bag on the seat on the packed bus or train?

If you'd let the couple sit at 'your' table you could have had or heard a really funny conversation - all good material.

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Dunno about anyone else but I always keep my bag on the seat next to me on a train. I really do NOT want anyone sat next to me on a train journey and will do anything to discourage it. I've travelled on the train hundreds of times and never yet had a conversation with a stranger that I didn't want to end as soon as possible.

Quote: Lee Henman @ March 27 2009, 12:24 PM GMT

Dunno about anyone else but I always keep my bag on the seat next to me on a train. I really do NOT want anyone sat next to me on a train journey and will do anything to discourage it. I've travelled on the train hundreds of times and never yet had a conversation with a stranger that I didn't want to end as soon as possible.

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Do you buy your bag a ticket?

I always deliberately ask the person with the bag on the seat to move it, just to piss them off.

Quote: Lee Henman @ March 27 2009, 12:24 PM GMT

Dunno about anyone else but I always keep my bag on the seat next to me on a train.

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That's rather rude. Has anyone ever asked you to move your bag?