GRAMS: PROKOFIEV – DANCE OF THE KNIGHTS
VOICE OVER: The three members of the losing team are facing Sir Alan in the boardroom.
SIR ALAN: You've managed to lose sixty-three and a half thousand pounds of my money, which is particularly amazing as I only gave you forty-seven pence for this week's task. Geoff, as team leader you were a bloody shambles… You're Fired TM.
GEOFF: I don't think so! You have a legal obligation to inform me in advance of any disciplinary proceedings and I have the right to be accompanied by a union rep. I haven't even had a written warning.
SIR ALAN: This is my game…I mean serious job interview from Hell… and I can do whatever I like. I don't like schmoozers, I don't like bullshitters and I don't like union reps. You're a bloody disgrace. You're FiredTM.
GEOFF: Do you have to keep jabbing your finger at me? It's very rude. And another thing - the personal abuse is completely unacceptable. I think I might take this to a tribunal.
SIR ALAN: I don't give a toss about tribunals. You're fired.
NICK: I think he might actually be right Sir Alan. It may be better to try to settle this without going to tribunal.
SIR ALAN: Don't be ridiculous Nick. Geoff, I don't think I've ever seen a worse candidate. You're F….
MARGARET: Sir Alan! As your lawyer I feel I must advise you not to say that again in case it prejudices the outcome of any future tribunal.
SIR ALAN: What?!
NICK: I…I didn't want to say anything before but you can be a bit mean sometimes. I don't think you realise how I often I go home and just cry after you've been nasty to me at work.
MARGARET: It's true. Sometimes Nick phones me up in floods of tears because of something you've said to him. You're not very nice sometimes. I think you should apologise.
SIR ALAN: Are you serious? Didn't you hear how much money he lost me?
GEOFF: I'm not an unreasonable man. I just want you to follow the correct disciplinary procedure and I think it might help if you took an anger management course.
MARGARET: He's right, Sir Alan…in fact we've already booked you into a clinic which should be able to help you become a less angry, more productive member of society again.
FX: DOOR OPENING
NICK: Here are the men to take you away now. Please don't struggle Sir Alan. It's for the best.
SIR ALAN: What the…? Get off me! (FADING OFF) You're fired! You're fired! You're fired! You're fired!..........
FX: DOOR CLOSING
GRAMS: PROKOFIEV – DANCE OF THE KNIGHTS