Haiku

A SLOANY GIRL (CLARE IS IN A CLASS ROOM SURROUNDED BY OTHER SLOANY GIRLS AND SIMILAR LOOKING CHAPS. THE TUTOR IS A DONNISH LOOKING CHAP.

TUTOR
Jennifer let's hear your haiku work first.

JENNIFER STARING AT CLARE
Who do you think you
Looking at are head kicked in will
You cheeky little c**t.

TUTOR
Well done Jennifer finally getting that sylable count right. Now your turn Gissele.

GISSELE STARING AT CLARE
Chewing a brick or
Looking at me either way you
Lose teeth you bitch.

CLAIRE
Crikey I know this is my first week but you chaps are being awfully mean. I thought Haiku was all about cherry blossoms and stuff.

TUTOR
Oh how embarassing. This isn't Haiku it's F**ku. Haikus in the room next door.

CLAIRE
Thanks awfully.

SHE LEAVES.

TUTOR
And if you show your
Ugly slag face here again just once.
Cut you I will clart.

That's really rather clever, Sootyj. You'd do well to flag the sketch as being about haikus at the start though. A small change like this...

TUTOR:
Okay, Jennifer let's hear your haiku first.

Fair point Bussell I shall edit and credit.
I'm surprised fewer people do haiku jokes they're dead easy.

Good idea, nicely executed. Cue lots of haikus

Good sketch Soo-Tee-Jay
But what is a Sloany girl?
Good use of words dude.

Very funny Sootyj!

Just one thing re. 'sylable count' - you misspelled 'count'.

send me this mate... we could use this!!!!!

Done and dusted expect a cleaner version some time this evening.

Screw-u maybe?

Very good.
A really clever idea, I liked it.

Very good idea, but with my pedantic head on I think you might have got the syllable count wrong in a few lines.

As I'm sure you know, when converted to English Haiku should be 5,7,5. However, by my reckoning the first one is 5,8,6. Then 5,8,4, then 5,9,5.

I agree with everyone else that it's a good idea but to make it even better I reckon it's worth tweaking slightly - especially as the tutor praises the first person for having the structure right, when she's a bit off.

I am sure this is all jolly good but I am also sure that I don't have a clue what Haiku is/are.

Quote: Barbs @ March 26 2009, 1:20 AM GMT

Very good idea, but with my pedantic head on I think you might have got the syllable count wrong in a few lines.

As I'm sure you know, when converted to English Haiku should be 5,7,5. However, by my reckoning the first one is 5,8,6. Then 5,8,4, then 5,9,5.

I agree with everyone else that it's a good idea but to make it even better I reckon it's worth tweaking slightly - especially as the tutor praises the first person for having the structure right, when she's a bit off.

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I suspect you're right I don't always recognise what a syllable sounds like.
Haiku very much.