Hackneyed? Cliched? Done before?
INT. A BAR - NIGHT
Two lads, GAV and SPENCE survey the crowd.
GAV
So what's she look like?
SPENCE
What part of "blind date" aren't you getting?
GAV
But you've chatted online, right?
SPENCE
Well, yeah.
GAV
Did you not get her to send a picture or anything?
SPENCE
Look, she seems nice, we get along very well, we've been on some very successful quests together and...
GAV
Wait wait wait. Quests? You been playing one of them online Lord of the Rings elves and dragons and low self esteem games? Oh my God. I had no idea you were so gay.
SPENCE
Shut up. They're fun, ok?
GAV
She's going to be massive, you know that, don't you? A fat, wobbly nerd woman.
SPENCE
Not everybody who plays these games is like that. I'm not like that.
GAV
Yeah, I bet in the game she's like some 6 foot elf woman, like Keeley Hawes with pointy ears, a sword and a costume made of shoelaces and you're all like, mm, I'll tap some of that mythical fanny, and then she's gonna waddle in here, all acne, crippling shyness and OCD, and the closest you're going to get to first base is when you get to hold her sweaty little hand as you reminisce about all the f**king hobgoblins you've stabbed together.
As Gav speaks, Spence's attention is grabbed by a striking-looking 6 foot, blonde, ELVEN WARRIOR WOMAN dressed in a few fetching strips of leather as she strides through the bar towards them.
The Elven Warrior Woman draws a bow and arrow, and shoots Gav with it. He falls to the floor mid-sentence.
She strides up to Spence, looks him up and down.
ELVEN WARRIOR WOMAN
Spence? I'm Ange. I thought you'd be taller.
SPENCE
(a bit bewildered)
Right...
ELVEN WARRIOR WOMAN
Come, the Hordes of Garfalax are gathering on the Western shores. We must find the Rune of Enflamening before it is too late.
SPENCE
Right... or, cinema?
He holds up two tickets.
ELVEN WARRIOR WOMAN
Ok, I'm easy.
They walk out of the bar.
END.