British Comedy Guide

Bad spelling in my scripts is a form of protest

EDIT by SlagA - Bad spelling may be your form of protest in a script BUT NOT IN A FORUM POST.

I've made corrections to your post in square brackets. I'll be expecting you to read the forum rules before posting. Please.

If you wish to write, then learn the trade. What would you say to a builder who used cream cheese as cement in your load-bearing walls? Would you accept his work or go get one who used cement? Apply those same standards to your own output.

END EDIT
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I can't spell for shit to be honest and my grammar is seriously lacking. The thing is [I'm] finding that everyone [says] to me, ["Y]ou want to be a writer[, ]how can you be a writer[?] [Y]ou [ain't] got the [quals], you [ain't] got the skills, the tools of the trade["].

I put it to you, are these tools of the trade nothing [more than] mere conformity[?] Why the hell should I have to spell correctly[?] [M]y task should be coherence and nothing more, you understand[?] [W]hat rigidy spoon[-]headed bastard decides this is how you spell and this how you [don't][?] [Here's] an example[:]

Mi name is Henry an I has meny wepens of mas distrection

Now you understood it [didn't] you[?] [S]o if you understand[,] why should I need to conform to the restraints of correctness[?] [It's] nothing but a pedantic and elitist way of thinking. Same as how we say words[.]

I tell you now. There is no correct way to spell. Language is an evolving tool. It evolves constantly. If enough people start spelling Weapon as Wepen[,] Wepen would become the correct spelling. [I'm] not going to conform to the masses['] ideas and expectations on how I should use these tools. They don't belong to anyone and nobody. I mean[,] nobody has a right to tell me how I should wield them.

Now this [ain't] gonna bode [deleted] well for sending of[l] my many scripts to [deleted] different places [deleted]. I could spell[-]check, I could get proof read, but I refuse to.

[I'm] a salesman by trade, I know how to play the long game. I ring 200 people up a day, one person will buy insurance, 1 out of 200[.] The only reason I got that 1 sale was coz I kept knocking on the doors.

The way [I'm] thinking[,] sooner or [later] that door[']s going to open and someone out there will understand my way of thinking and help promote my cause.

[Too] much time is wasted on school and [English] and spelling. [It's] about time we used that time to teach kids how to fix toilets and make houses or grow food or anything that is useful. Because good spelling is not a skill. It is a non[-existent] abstract bit of nothingness.

Come f**k with me[.]

Quote: Henry Thurston @ March 17 2009, 9:38 AM GMT

There is no correct way to spell.

Aaron, meet your nemesis! :D

Quote: Henry Thurston @ March 17 2009, 9:38 AM GMT

Why the hell should I have to spell correctly,

To get any producer, anywhere, to take you seriously I'm afraid.

Fact is, though, you're not going to get anywhere if you're that stubborn.

:)

Dan

Quote: Matthew Stott @ March 17 2009, 9:40 AM GMT

Aaron, meet your nemesis! :D

To get any producer, anywhere, to take you seriously I'm afraid.

i told you im playing the long game. There is a producer in this world, somewhere out there who will take me seriously. It stsnds to reason.

Its the law of mathmatics Matthew

Quote: swerytd @ March 17 2009, 9:42 AM GMT

Fact is, though, you're not going to get anywhere if you're that stubborn.

:)

Dan

such a red light pessemist, how do you know I won't get anywhere, have you knocked on all the doors yet, is your conciousness a collective in tune with every producer in the world, no swerytd, its not. you can't say I won't get anywhere because you don't understand the concept of what im getting at here, its a long game

Quote: Henry Thurston @ March 17 2009, 9:44 AM GMT

is your conciousness a collective in tune with every producer in the world, no swerytd, its not.

No! It's not in tune with any!

Dan

Quote: swerytd @ March 17 2009, 9:47 AM GMT

No! It's not in tune with any!

Dan

well mores the pity, because after my salvia experiences my conciousness is in tune with squrills in equador, you understand, its like

dan, can I just tell you something, maybe you understand

yesterday I woke up with a spot on my ass the size of half an apple, now ok its a spot, it hurts, if I ever had sex with a woman and she put her hand there she wouldnt cum, plain and simple, I don't have that problem thankfully, I don't get sex, the point im making is dan, that how about I decided that spot was not a spot and infact cancer, and how about I spoke to the cancer whilst mediating, how about I made friends with it and asked it nicely if it would mind not spreading.

Now the cancer stopped spreading, instead of hurting me, it made good of my cells of my bum, it made them good, it stopped hurting, it stopped growing, it just sat and contemplated its existance and sung the canadian national anthem every wednesday

Do you understand what im saying Dan. Them doors aint been knocked on yet

TL : DR

by the way im not a troll everyone, im really serious about what I say, im very passernite about my ideas

And we're very passionate about our site rules.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/info/terms_of_use.shtml#BoardRules

If you can't be bothered to put the tiny bit of effort in, why should we, or a producer, be bothered to read what you write?

If you're not willing to abide by the (very few) rules, then rather than "f**k with you", you can "f**k off". :)

I threw a little paddy and deleted this post.

Apparently the drugs do work.

Quote: Aaron @ March 17 2009, 10:09 AM GMT

And we're very passionate about our site rules.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/info/terms_of_use.shtml#BoardRules

If you can't be bothered to put the tiny bit of effort in, why should we, or a producer, be bothered to read what you write?

If you're not willing to abide by the (very few) rules, then rather than "f**k with you", you can "f**k off". :)

ok mr arron, I read all them rules, tell me which one I broke

Quote: WoodMeister @ March 17 2009, 10:15 AM GMT

Henry Thurston, best comedy character since Simon Thordox. Or, if you prefer, bestt comdie karakta sinss Simon Thordox. Keep up the gud werk, Henry!

oh ta, nice, im not a charceter as such though, ermm its not created, I genuinely believe like mulder does

Quote: Graham Bandage @ March 17 2009, 10:18 AM GMT

Apparently the drugs do work.

you have no idea, everyone says time travel is not feasible unless we create some sort of ship that makes matter move faster than time, its all nonsense, dreams graham,that's where we are at, we can do anyhting in them, we can move about and do all sorts of shit whilst in trance like states, orbs, you know orbs graham, why do so many of them get seen at 3 - 4am, I tell you why graham, them orbs are merley humans dreaming travelling about. Its all a crazy world

they really do work

Quote: Henry Thurston @ March 17 2009, 10:24 AM GMT

ok mr arron, I read all them rules, tell me which one I broke

oh ta, nice, im not a charceter as such though, ermm its not created, I genuinely believe like mulder does

you have no idea, everyone says time travel is not feasible unless we create some sort of ship that makes matter move faster than time, its all nonsense, dreams graham,that's where we are at, we can do anyhting in them, we can move about and do all sorts of shit whilst in trance like states, orbs, you know orbs graham, why do so many of them get seen at 3 - 4am, I tell you why graham, them orbs are merley humans dreaming travelling about. Its all a crazy world

they really do work

Wave

Quote: Marc P @ March 17 2009, 10:24 AM GMT

Wave

with comments like that I expect to see your work commisioned soon

comic genius

Quote: Henry Thurston @ March 17 2009, 10:29 AM GMT

with comments like that I expect to see your work commisioned soon

comic genius

Oh, Henry, you have no idea...

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