This story was topical recently but I had put my 7 on 7 stuff in by then or would have sent this as one.
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AUCTIONEER:
Next is lot 24. Seven paintings by Ronnie and Reggie Kray. Painted when they attended art classes in prison. Offered to the market for the first time. Now what am I bid?
SILENCE NERVOUS COUGHING
AUCTIONEER:
Perhaps I'm not making myself clear. I *said* (SHOUTS) What am I bid you Muppets!!?
SILENCE
VOICE:
Ahhh! No! Not the pliers! Ok Ok! For pity's sake! Aahhh! Please no! A pony!
AUCTIONEER:
That's more like it but it ain't enough.
HOWL OF ANGUISH
VOICE:
All right! Make it a monkey! a-a-a(GASPS) m-m-monkey!
AUCTIONEER:
What's the matter with you lot? Look at the beautiful brush strokes! Lovely!
BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM OF PAIN
VOICE:
OK OK! Fourteen K (SOBS) F-f-f fourteen K.
FX________________GAVEL BANGING
AUCTIONEER:
Sold to the gentleman at the back writhing in pain. Hold your paddle up if you can sir.
END:
