SOmething I wrote in relation to the University Challenge scandal. - Sorry about that smiley thing I can't seem to move it.
JP: Hello and welcome to Newsnight. I'm Jeremy Paxman. Forget the recession, failing banks and job losses. First up tonight is the University Challenge scandal that has engulfed the nation. A non student has managed to appear in the team for the winning University, causing national outrage and street protests. And now I'm pleased to say I'm going to be grilling the presenter of the programme, errr.......Mr Jeremy Paxman. So Mr Paxman, your starter for ten. What happened?
JP turns to face the other way as if having a conversation with himself.
JP2: Jeremy, this was a simple oversight on the part of the research team.
JP turns to face the other way again ( and continues to do so throughout the sketch, JP faces one way and JP2 the other.)
JP
o Mr Paxman you're passing the buck!
JP2:Look I'm just the presenter, I don't have anything to do with that.
JP:Answer the question Mr Paxman, are you passing the buck?
JP2:Jeremy It's not my job!
JP:Isn't that a cowards way out Mr Paxman?
JP2: I resent that Jeremy. I just ask the bloody questions.
JP: No Mr Paxman it's me that asks the questions.
JP2: That's what I said.
JP: Should you not resign Mr Paxman?
JP2: Resign? It's not my fault!
JP: The country is up in arms Mr Paxman!
JP2: Don't be a wanker Jeremy, It's a tin pot programme on BB2 featuring teams of saddo's who can't get f**king laid!
JP: That's always your problem Mr Paxman, you dish it out but can't take it can you?
JP2: I can.
JP: You can't.
JP2: Listen you bastard! I f**king well can.
JP: Don't you call me a bastard....you screwed up c**t.
JP starts punching himself. Ends up falling off stage.
Kirsty Wark appears.
KW: Thank you that Jeremy. Next week we interview Jeremy Paxman again. This time in relation to his staring role next to Brad Pitt in Fightclub 2.
Ends
