Johnny2, please wind in the attitude a little. Crit the work but with a degree of politeness and respect to the people behind the post. If you find it hard being civil, I can suggest a few other places on the 'Net that would love to have you.
Civil. Please.
Quote: jonny2 @ March 12 2009, 9:40 PM GMTWow! Thanks for that Boxman! Yeah, I sussed you out didn't I? I can read you like a book; thing is, you're large print. Easy!
Another man's gold? Wow! You put me right up there with August Strindberg, Alexandre Dumas, Leonardo da Vinci and Richard Wagner.
Yeah, like you're funny.
You care enough to write more than one sentence. Thank you. 
Quote: jonny2 @ March 12 2009, 9:40 PM GMTWow! Thanks for that Boxman! Yeah, I sussed you out didn't I? I can read you like a book; thing is, you're large print.
I like to cater to the visually impaired, yes.
Quote: jonny2 @ March 12 2009, 9:40 PM GMTYeah, like you're funny.
Thanks again.
Gee, what a nice fella.
Quote: jonny2 @ March 12 2009, 9:40 PM GMTWow! Thanks for that Boxman! Yeah, I sussed you out didn't I? I can read you like a book; thing is, you're large print. Easy!
Quote: Leevil @ March 13 2009, 1:14 AM GMTI like to cater to the visually impaired, yes.
I was speaking metaphorically, Sir.
Quote: Leevil @ March 13 2009, 1:14 AM GMTGee, what a nice fella.
Thank you, Sir.
Quote: Leevil @ March 12 2009, 10:00 AM GMTYeah, like you was planned.
Gee, what a nice fella. Thanks for that, Leevil.
I shall now 'crit' the work with a degree of politeness and respect to the person behind the post:
There is no scenario. Is it stage, radio or TV? Assuming it is radio; it would be quite simple to name characters who are speaking. Very lazy! On the other hand; is it someone wandering around speaking to themselves? You see, this gave me the impression that this monologue/duologue/ was posted out of sheer boredom and does not do justice to this otherwise fine comedy site.
It's supposed to be an abstract piece. Not everything has to be a sketch or sitcom script, with correct formatting on here.
I never intended to sell it, it's not for producers eyes, it's not to be filmed. It is a collection of words, that have been arranged into a pattern to form an abstract structure.
I like to try and push myself, by thinking outside the box and rearranging structures, so I can learn to make ideas work, without being led by the hand with scene descriptions, ect.
If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but nothing will ever evolve if it stuck to the same formula.
You are not going to rile me over the internet, so give up.
Thank you for your feedback, it is much appreciated.
Quote: Leevil @ March 13 2009, 12:38 PM GMTI like to push myself, by thinking outside the box
>_< Pun intended, Leevil?
Cheers for that, Johnny2, appreciated.
Quote: SlagA @ March 13 2009, 2:22 PM GMTCheers for that, Johnny2, appreciated.
My pleasure, SlagA. Thank you for understanding.
Quote: SlagA @ March 13 2009, 2:22 PM GMT>_< Pun intended, Leevil?
Of course.
Didn't work for me, sorry.
That's OK, thank you Lord.
Very funny!
Cheers Chopz!
