This was around the slightly obscure story of lollipop ladies/men being fitted with cameras to record the abuse and dangerous driving they experience.
F/X
TREET SOUNDS.
REPORTER: Good morning, I'm here at the school crossing outside St. Murphy's primary school in Basingstoke. With me is Kevin Jones, Director of Child Road Safety and Care in the Community. Mr Jones, this is quite a radical departure in crossing technology, would you care to explain?
KEVIN:Certainly. We'd become very worried about drivers ignoring patrols or shouting abuse at the Mobile Vehicular Thoroughfare Transit Managers.
REPORTER: Sorry…?
KEVIN:Lollipop ladies. We hoped that giving them a fancier title might encourage respect.
REPORTER: And did it?
KEVIN:No, it just seemed to make drivers more angry, given that they are essentially old biddies with a sign on a stick. And, on reflection, the new uniforms in the syle of the Waffen SS were probably a mistake.
REPORTER: And this culminated in the incident where Lollipop… sorry - Mobile Vehicular Thoroughfare Transit Manager - Thelma Parker was run down?
KEVIN:Yes, a very unfortunate incident involving an irate driver of a Ford Cortina and a convoy of 20 4-year olds who became distracted by a puppy while in the process of crossing.
REPORTER: I understand the driver was annoyed that the puppy was in fact Mrs Parker's?
KEVIN:Yes, he became enraged when she allowed all the children to pet it and, after waiting for 25 minutes, ran her down.
REPORTER: But this isn't the end of the story.
KEVIN:In fact this is really the beginning. Aided by local company Omni Consumer Products we have been able to rebuild Mrs Parker into the perfect road crossing operative.
REPORTER: And Robololly-lady was born.
ROBO-LOLLYLADY
IN BACKGROUND SOUNDING LIKE THE ROBOT FROM ROBO-COP) Your SUV is parked too near the crossing. Remove the vehicle. You have 5 seconds to comply.
YUMMY MUMMY: Oh come on, Jacinta and Rupert are late for their Buddhist chanting class, I'll only be a moment.
ROBO-LOLLYLADY:Remove the vehicle. You have 3 seconds to comply.
YUMMY MUMMY: Look, I don't like your attitude. I am a close friend of the headmaster you know, I can have you…
ROBO-LOLLYLADY:You have failed to comply.
F/XOUND OF GUNFIRE, A CAR EXPLODES AND THE MUMMY SCREAMS.
KEVIN:Very effective, I think you'll agree.
REPORTER: Yes, indeed. I can't see anyone calling this Lollipop lady an interfering old duffer.
ROBO-LOLLYLADY1:Cease insults to Lollipop ladies. You have 5 seconds to comply.
REPORTER: What? Look, I was just illustrating a point you stupid bloody machine.
ROBO-LOLLYLADY1:Clean up your potty mouth reporter boy…you have 3 seconds to comply.
REPORTER: (PANICKY, TO KEVIN) Switch the bloody thing off…do something you feckless git!
KEVIN:Erm…sorry, I'm afraid she's very sensitive since the incident. Could you move away from me please.
REPORTER: You bastard.
ROBO-LOLLYLADY1:You have failed to comply.
F/XOUND OF GUNFIRE, THE REPORTER SCREAMS FOLLOWED BY A SHORT SILENCE.
ROBO-LOLLYLADY1:And now, back to the studio.