British Comedy Guide

3 more from the 7 - 7 reject pile...

POSTMAN PRATT

(TO THE TUNE OF POSTMAN PAT)

Postman Pat just thinks that
Peter Mandleson's a pratt
At the T.U. Conference
He spoke loads of nonsense
Proving he's a useless bureaucrat

Postman Pat's just been told
The Post Office might be sold
Just to add some tension
He could lose his pension
Unless a foreign company takes hold

T.N.T. - they could be
The P.O.'s new owners
Is it really too much
If we have to 'Go Dutch'
Another national asset up for sale

JOB SEARCH

INTERVIEWER: ...So, it's "The Family Feast Bucket - 8 to 12 pieces of original
recipie chicken, 4 portions of fries, 2 delicious sides and a 2
litre bottle of coke..." Now you try it, in your own words...

INTERVIEWEE: (RP ACCENT) Ahem (CLEARS THROAT)...The Kindered Repast Scuttle -
8 to 12 quantities of archytypal formula poultry, 4 subdivisions
of fragmented potatoes, 2 ambrosial sides and a 2 litre decanter
of carbonated sucrose liquid...

INTERVIEWER: Hmmm, yeah, very good - for a banker - But, as the fast food
industry is the only business expanding during this difficult
time I'm afraid you just don't meet our current criteria. You
are under qualified mate.

Why don't you try Greggs on the high street.

ENDS

MINI HA HA

V/O (AMERICAN) It was a day unlike any other - a day that would change the
lives of hundreds of ordinary men and women...

(ATMOS: A CROWDED MEETING HALL)

MANAGER: (SHOUTING) Alright everyone - clear your desks and empty your
lockers NOW! You have ONE HOUR to vacate the building!

CROWD: (OVERLAYED) You can't do that...

What about our rights...

We got families...

This ain't right...(ETC)

SFX: LONE GUNSHOTS BUILDING INTO THE SOUNDS OF PETROL BOMBS, RAPID
GUNFIRE AND THE SOUNDS OF A FULL BLOWN RIOT.

CUT TO SUDDEN SILENCE FOR A BEAT - THEN:-

V/O (AMERICAN) ...another MINI adventure...

ENDS

The MINI one is the best one (though I had to think about it!) The second one is okay but doesn't blow me away. The song is very good, but I doubt they'll be doing songs on 7 On 7 -- News Revue or Treason Show might like that one though, they're always looking for songs.

Dan

Mainly agree with Swerytd here. The Mini Adventure parody was a very good idea, and like what you did with it. Second one OK, but didn't really do much for me.

Like the song, though would be inclined to stick to the rhymes of the original as it's such a well-known tune/lyric it sounds best to me like that. And try and keep the rhythm of "and his black-and-white cat". Having said that, do like your lyrics.

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