POSTMAN PRATT
(TO THE TUNE OF POSTMAN PAT)
Postman Pat just thinks that
Peter Mandleson's a pratt
At the T.U. Conference
He spoke loads of nonsense
Proving he's a useless bureaucrat
Postman Pat's just been told
The Post Office might be sold
Just to add some tension
He could lose his pension
Unless a foreign company takes hold
T.N.T. - they could be
The P.O.'s new owners
Is it really too much
If we have to 'Go Dutch'
Another national asset up for sale
JOB SEARCH
INTERVIEWER: ...So, it's "The Family Feast Bucket - 8 to 12 pieces of original
recipie chicken, 4 portions of fries, 2 delicious sides and a 2
litre bottle of coke..." Now you try it, in your own words...
INTERVIEWEE: (RP ACCENT) Ahem (CLEARS THROAT)...The Kindered Repast Scuttle -
8 to 12 quantities of archytypal formula poultry, 4 subdivisions
of fragmented potatoes, 2 ambrosial sides and a 2 litre decanter
of carbonated sucrose liquid...
INTERVIEWER: Hmmm, yeah, very good - for a banker - But, as the fast food
industry is the only business expanding during this difficult
time I'm afraid you just don't meet our current criteria. You
are under qualified mate.
Why don't you try Greggs on the high street.
ENDS
MINI HA HA
V/O (AMERICAN) It was a day unlike any other - a day that would change the
lives of hundreds of ordinary men and women...
(ATMOS: A CROWDED MEETING HALL)
MANAGER: (SHOUTING) Alright everyone - clear your desks and empty your
lockers NOW! You have ONE HOUR to vacate the building!
CROWD: (OVERLAYED) You can't do that...
What about our rights...
We got families...
This ain't right...(ETC)
SFX: LONE GUNSHOTS BUILDING INTO THE SOUNDS OF PETROL BOMBS, RAPID
GUNFIRE AND THE SOUNDS OF A FULL BLOWN RIOT.
CUT TO SUDDEN SILENCE FOR A BEAT - THEN:-
V/O (AMERICAN) ...another MINI adventure...
ENDS