Risky Business (7 on 7 entry)

Okay,so long as others are offering themselves up for humiliation. My excuse is I was about to go on holiday and very pushed for time...

SIR JAMES CROSBY: So what qualifications would you be bringing to role of Head of Risk?

JO DAWSON: Well, I have made an in-depth study of Risk strategies...

SIR JAMES CROSBY: Good, good.

JO DAWSON: ..and the key is to seize control of Australia. I always beat my nephews when we play at Christmas.

SIR JAMES CROSBY: Ah...impressive! Perhaps we could look at a real world scenario. For instance this perpetual motion machine.

JO DAWSON: Oh that's clever.

SIR JAMES CROSBY: Suppose I was to make a big heap all our account holder's dosh – and then borrow a whole wodge more – and I was to punt the lot on this little baby whirring away for ever.

JO DAWSON: For ever?

SIR JAMES CROSBY: And ever.

JO DAWSON: I would have to warn you that there was just the teeniest, weeniest risk of violating the second law of thermodynamics. (PAUSE) But I am sure you know what you are doing, so don't go taking any notice of a girlie like me.

SIR JAMES CROSBY: That's rather a hard line to take. But fair. And if everyone else was making the same bet?

JO DAWSON: Oh I am sure it would be all right then.

SIR JAMES CROSBY: Well you certainly seem to have this risk malarky taped. Welcome to the team.

JO DAWSON: I am looking forward to working with you.

SIR JAMES CROSBY: Hah! I'm off. Cushy little billet lined up.

JO DAWSONh?

SIR JAMES CROSBY: The Financial Services Authority.

JO DAWSON: Ha ha ha ha ha - er, you're not joking are you?

I know the ending is pants, but I am reminded of Tom Lehrer's comment on why he gave up satire....)

Maybe I'm being a bit slow, but I don't really get it.

Main criticism is that I didn't really know who either of them were, (and I'm usually quite savvy with financial stuff), but still had to look up the people/story. Thus, I reckon you need to introduce who each of them are somehow for plebs like me to be able to set the scene.

Sorry.

Dan

It was a reasonably prominent story when I wrote it, but Sir Fred's misdeeds have rather eclipsed those of the rest of the financial fraternity. Even so I should probably have introduced the characters (a slight nervousness about satirising non-politicians by the name). The retrospective nature of the exchange means it could probably only work with a Now Show style presenter intro in any case.

Don't be sorry, the sketch deserves any criticism coming its way.

Really liked the Risk joke - thought you could have made more of that, but then maybe it wouldn't have been as snappy. I also did not know who the people or the story are. In fact, I still don't so would maybe second the suggestion of setting out the backstory a little somehow.

hard to do without it seeming contrived though isn't it?

Hmm. Surprised more people were not familiar with the story, but then one person's topical is another person's "Huh?"

Briefly, in cross examination by the Treasury Select Committee, it emerged that as Chairman of HBOS Sir James had sacked his Head Of Risk for warning that the bank's lending strategies were unsafe, and replaced him with Jo Dawson, who was completely unqualified for the role (and according to one of her former staff, completely clueless). Sir James was subsequently obliged to resign from his new role as Deputy Chairman of the FSA, responsible for bank regulation. But you are right it is hard to contextualise a sketch without sounding contrived and if you have to explain a joke...

Something to that effect needs to be in the first few lines of your sketch then, I reckon!

Dan