INT. HOME.
A MAN IS PEERING INTO A SMALL HOLE IN BEDROOM WALL.
MAN:
How did this hole get here?
WOMAN:
I don't know, maybe you should call the hole police, they'll tell you.
MAN:
What are you talking about? (PAUSE) Wench.
WOMAN:
I know, it's our pet woodpecker.
MAN:
Woodpecker? What are you on?
WOMAN:
Maybe, just maybe, there's a hidden fibre optic camera recording our every move.
MAN:
Shut up. It's a tiny hole that a nail would make and...
WOMAN: (interrupting)
Yeah and it's in the middle of a square that's a different shade. The whole room will be the same colour soon, seepage.
MAN:
Seepage? It's obviously a...
WOMAN:
Asbestos, yes, you've hit the nail on the head. Brick cancer, highly contagious. I'm going on Ebay to look for dust masks.
MAN:
Stop your tomfoolery! (PAUSE) I remember, a picture used to hang there.
WOMAN:
Bingo shit for brains!
MAN:
It was a picture of me, me and, and my wedding day, yes.
WOMAN:
Your first wife's dead, get over it.
