British Comedy Guide

The real hustle

AS SEEN ON THE REAL HUSTLE

VOICEOVER:
THE NEXT SCAM WE'RE GOING TO SHOW YOU IS CALLED 'DOUBLE OR BUST'.

CAPTION 'DOUBLE OR BUST' APPEARS ON THE SCREEN WITH A PICTURE OF JESS "THE SEXY SWINDLER"

WE SEE JESS WALK UP TO TWO MEN IN THE STREET

V/O: JESS HAS FOUND THE MARKS

JESS: Hello, I was wondering if you could help me. I seem to have lost my purse. It had my keys in and everything.

1ST MAN: Sorry to hear that love.

V/O: THE MARKS SUSPECT NOTHING AS JESS STARTS TO REEL THEM IN.

AT THIS POINT JESS OPENS HER BLOUSE WIDE AND WE SEE THE TWO MEN MOUTH AGAPE EYES WIDE.

V/O: NOW IT'S TIME FOR PAUL & ALEX GO TO WORK.

WE SEE PAUL & ALEX WALK BEHIND THE MARKS SLOWING BRIEFLY AS THEY PASS THEM.

V/O: DID YOU NOTICE WHAT HAPPENED THERE - LETS SEE THAT AGAIN IN SLOWMOTION FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE.

WE SEE ALEX & PAUL PICKPOCKETING THE MARKS, BUT NOT WITH MUCH FINESSE. THEY ARE NEARLY LIFTING THEM OFF THE GROUND STRUGGLING TO GET DEEP ENOUGH INTO THE POCKETS.

V/O: FOR SKILLED PICKPOCKETS LIKE THESE GUYS, YOU DON'T NEED MUCH OF A DISTRACTION.

BACK FROM THE OTHER ANGLE WE SEE THE MEN STILL TRANSFIXED UNTIL JESS CLOSES HER BLOUSE AGAIN.

V/O: THE MARKS ARE NONE THE WISER.

CUT TO THE MARKS BEING INTERVIEWED AFTERWARDS:

1ST MAN: Well we didn't notice anything going on, she was telling us something and she just showed her tits, that's all I remember .. the tits.

2ND MAN: Tits !

V/O: WHEN WE COME BACK ON THE REAL HUSTLE WE'LL SEE THE BOYS ROB A STORE AS JESS BENDS OVER TO PICK UP HER SHOPPING.

I like it. I'd like to see that.

She's actually got quite unpleasant breasts, in my view. Well dodgy boob job.

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ February 27 2009, 12:42 AM GMT

She's actually got quite unpleasant breasts, in my view. Well dodgy boob job.

I'll have to have a look at them again in my copy of Nuts.

Perhaps it was her hideous bosoms that distracted the marks.
:D

Quote: Fred Sunshine @ February 27 2009, 12:45 AM BST

AS SEEN ON THE REAL HUSTLE

VOICEOVER:
THE NEXT SCAM WE'RE GOING TO SHOW YOU IS CALLED 'DOUBLE OR BUST'.

CAPTION 'DOUBLE OR BUST' APPEARS ON THE SCREEN WITH A PICTURE OF JESS "THE SEXY SWINDLER"

WE SEE JESS WALK UP TO TWO MEN IN THE STREET

V/O: JESS HAS FOUND THE MARKS

JESS: Hello, I was wondering if you could help me. I seem to have lost my purse. It had my keys in and everything.

1ST MAN: Sorry to hear that love.

V/O: THE MARKS SUSPECT NOTHING AS JESS STARTS TO REEL THEM IN.

AT THIS POINT JESS OPENS HER BLOUSE WIDE AND WE SEE THE TWO MEN MOUTH AGAPE EYES WIDE.

V/O: NOW IT'S TIME FOR PAUL & ALEX GO TO WORK.

WE SEE PAUL & ALEX WALK BEHIND THE MARKS SLOWING BRIEFLY AS THEY PASS THEM.

V/O: DID YOU NOTICE WHAT HAPPENED THERE - LETS SEE THAT AGAIN IN SLOWMOTION FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE.

WE SEE ALEX & PAUL PICKPOCKETING THE MARKS, BUT NOT WITH MUCH FINESSE. THEY ARE NEARLY LIFTING THEM OFF THE GROUND STRUGGLING TO GET DEEP ENOUGH INTO THE POCKETS.

V/O: FOR SKILLED PICKPOCKETS LIKE THESE GUYS, YOU DON'T NEED MUCH OF A DISTRACTION.

BACK FROM THE OTHER ANGLE WE SEE THE MEN STILL TRANSFIXED UNTIL JESS CLOSES HER BLOUSE AGAIN.

V/O: THE MARKS ARE NONE THE WISER.

CUT TO THE MARKS BEING INTERVIEWED AFTERWARDS:

1ST MAN: Well we didn't notice anything going on, she was telling us something and she just showed her tits, that's all I remember .. the tits.

2ND MAN: Tits !

V/O: WHEN WE COME BACK ON THE REAL HUSTLE WE'LL SEE THE BOYS ROB A STORE AS JESS BENDS OVER TO PICK UP HER SHOPPING.

lol, Quality Laughing out loud

Quote: Griff @ May 19 2009, 8:19 PM BST

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeM_LbQeYW8

:)

Yeah, recall watching the above and did very much enjoy :D

Quote: Kevin Murphy @ February 27 2009, 1:42 AM BST

She's actually got quite unpleasant breasts, in my view. Well dodgy boob job.

I disagree, there far more pleasant breasts then they are unpleasant. Take another look and come back to me on that. http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3245/2669180758_3eabb72f82.jpg

Thought Fred's sketch was great, shame there is something so similar already out there.

Quote: James Cotter @ May 19 2009, 8:48 PM BST

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3245/2669180758_3eabb72f82.jpg

Those are quite nice.

Quote: Griff @ May 19 2009, 8:19 PM BST

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeM_LbQeYW8

Yeah I suppose the premise is similar (and maybe a bit obvious)
Lucklily I posted this before their video was put up.
And as theirs is much funnier than mine I won't be considering any legal action.

:D :D

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