Mandleson to the rescue.

Peter Mandleson is sat at his desk tongue out, pencil behind his ear, drawing on a large sheet of paper. Gordon Brown walks in.

GB: Morning Peter.

PM: Morning.

GB: What's that then?

PM: This Gordie, me old mucker, is going to save my job, Darling's job and if the public are gullible enough, your job too.

GB: Don't leave me in suspense then.

PM Looks GB up and down.

PM: Suspenders? No I agree, don't leave them on too long. They tend to rub the upper thigh after a while.

GB: No. Peter. Your plan. Tell me about your plan.

PM: Well, no one wants cars anymore do they?

GB: No they don't. I'm so proud of the British public!

PM: Why?

GB: Protesting against Jeremy Clarkson by not buying cars. It's brilliant.

PM: No Gordon. They aren't buying cars because you've bankrupted most them.

GB: Oh I see.

PM : So the car factories are cutting jobs left right and centre because they have nothing to make.

GB: So that's where you come in then is it Einstein?

PM: Correct. Britain used to be great at making cars, so I simply thought about other things we are great at.

GB: Ships – we're great at building ships.

PM: Were Gordon. The ship industry sank years ago.

GB: Mining – Always good at mining.

PM: Maggie! She made all the mines collapse.

GB: True. But she was so beautiful doing it.

PM: Gordon!

GB. Sorry. So what did you decide we were good at?

PM: Teenage Pregnancies.

GB: Okay?

PM: We currently have 15 million teenage boys in the UK. If each of the randy little bastards each sires one child on average every two years. We can expect them to produce at least 75 million children over the next 10 years.

GB: Bloody hell!

PM: No this good news.

GB: It is?

PM: Yes for, the car factories.

GB: Why?

PM: I'm going to get them all making prams.

Like it. And also, a terrifying look ahead.

I believe in getting in and out of a sketch as fast as possible. That's about 30 lines and could be about ten. All the little filler, - misinterpreting what the other guy says - weakens the sketch for me.

Otherwise a good mix of two current stories.

Cheers for the comments guys.

Yeah maybe one or two lines could go.(or three or four)

Liked this a lot.

I think you could certainly lose the suspenders bit and the Thatcher bit isn't really adding much. I quite like the other confusions.

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Quote: bigfella @ February 21 2009, 10:48 AM GMT

Yeah maybe one or two lines could go.(or three or four)

View original

Again, I couldn't resist!
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PETER MANDLESON IS SAT AT HIS DESK. GORDON BROWN WALKS IN.

BROWN: Go on then - what's this plan you're going on about?

MANDELSON: Well, no one wants cars anymore do they?

BROWN: Don't they?

MANDELSON: No Gordon. They aren't buying cars because you've bankrupted most them.

BROWN: Oh I see.

MANDELSON: So the car factories are cutting jobs left right and centre because they have nothing to make.

BROWN: So that's where you come in then is it, Einstein?

MANDELSON: Correct. Britain used to be great at making cars, so I simply thought about other things we're great at.

BROWN: So what other things are we great at, then?

MANDELSON: Teenage Pregnancies.

BROWN: (PENSIVE) Okaaaayyy .....

MANDELSON: We currently have 15 million teenage boys in the UK. If each of the randy little bastards each sires one child on average every two years, we can expect them to produce at least 75 million children over the next 10 years.

BROWN: Bloody hell!

MANDELSON: Hold on Gordon - this is good news.

BROWN: It is?

MANDELSON: Yes - for the car factories.

BROWN: Why?

MANDELSON: I'm going to get them all making prams.

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I would only remove the suspenders bit. I like the Thatcher dig