"School for the deaf. Does that mean there will be noise or the won't be noise?" ... "Their just deaf, they're not deaf offenders?"
The Alan Partridge appreciation society Page 2
"They've rebadged it you fool"
I could do this all day. 
"I've got a fat back"
"I can feel an udder on my leg."
Quote: Leevil @ June 3 2009, 2:21 PM BST
Explain.
(My dad was in the navy, a little monkey tagged along somewhere in Africa or summink, turned into the ship's pet, and fell off the boat in a storm.) 
Back to the Alan quotes!
"You sound like a Bond villain, Dr. No-vocal chords"
Quote: zooo @ June 3 2009, 2:32 PM BST(My dad was in the navy, a little monkey tagged along somewhere in Africa or summink, turned into the ship's pet, and fell off the boat in a storm.)
Back to the Alan quotes!
Aw!! 
"I'm gonna hump ya, like Deputy Dog would hump ya"
"I love you - In a way"
(INTO DICTAPHONE.) "Millenium barn dance to be held in Yeovilton Aerodrome. This must not - repeat not - be allowed to turn into an all-night rave."
"I don't cos I use Lynx Africa."
SONIA: Alan, would you like to make love?
''Er, No thankyou''
''I've got my hat hard-on''
"You haven't got a spoon?"
"I've pierced my foot on a spike!"
"D'you like me doing that? Shall I do it more quickly, or shall I maintain the same speed?"
"Don't laugh, you've broken your neck!"
Quote: Nil Putters @ June 3 2009, 7:43 PM BST"D'you like me doing that? Shall I do it more quickly, or shall I maintain the same speed?"
''Lyn, you've got minor womens whiplash...you were bent forward crouching like a mouse''
I have a question? If you didn't know who Steve Coogan was, or wasn't picturing Alan Partridge in your mind saying the lines...Would this be a successful script, i.e to read on paper?
I personally do. But would a script reader get the characters?
"I was just destroying my cereals."