Gordon Brown is sat at his desk. Alistair Darling enters wearing a chefs hat and FT under arm.
AD: Morning Gordon.
GB: Oh Christ Darling! What the hell have you come up with now?
AD: You'll like this.
GB: I'm sure.
AD: "The No 10 Pizza Company."
GB: Pizza's? Why.
DARLING SLAPS FT ON DESK.
AD: Domino's profits up 20%! People are so depressed they're staying at home and scoffing tonnes of pizza.
BROWN PICKS UP FT
GB: Profits of £23million. With that sort of money I could have a nice Hawaiian holiday.
AD: Pizza's always in fashion Gordie.
GB: You might say it's a business for all Four Seasons of the year then?
AD: Absolutely.
GB: Well I really fancy a slice of the action.
AD: Do you? Well that's brilliant.
GB: Of course I do.
AD: Good job really, the Milliband boys are already trying out their new delivery scooters.
GB: Are they old enough to ride one?
AD: And old Mandy looks really good in his high visibility jacket.
GB: If he gets any more high visibility I start to think he's after my job.
AD: Well you know Peter.
GB: Hang On Darling – Surely Dominos has got this market sewn up?
AD: Ah – well this is the clever part
GB: Go on.
AD: Dominio's cut their pizza's into 10 slices.
GB Right. So?
AD: I'm going to take out their share of the market by giving our customers better value for money.
GB: How?
DARLING LOOKS ROUND TO MAKE SURE NO ONE CAN HEAR
AD: I'm cutting our pizzas into 12 slices!
Ends
