Can I get away with this?

INT - INNER CITY SCHOOL CLASSROOM
[SHAGGY BLOND SITING AT DESK WITH HUGE PILE OF NODDY BOOKS - PICTURE OF GOLLIWOG ON BLACKBOARD WITH BIG CROSS THROUGH IT]

[ENTER -PRINCE HARRY IN ARMY UNIFORM]
Oh Hi Carol is this R101?

[CAROL THATCHER]
No - This is B12 I think [POINTING AT NUMBER ON DOOR]

[HARRY]
No... I mean Racism 101.

[CAROL]
Oh right. Yahh!... Sorry, I'm a bit occupied. I've been here three weeks and I still have all these books to go through. Nice suit by the way.

[HARRY]
Yeah thanks. Just come from work. What have they got you doing?

[CAROL]
I have to tippex out all instances of that [POINTS TO PICTURE ON BOARD] and replace with smoothing more correct. I have put Dark, Older Gentleman but had to abbreviate to fit it in.

[HARRY] Good idea. Where do all the books come from?

[CAROL] Oh, There from all the libraries in London, including schools.

[HARRY] [PICKS UP BOOK AND OPENS THE FLY] Blimey! this library book has only been checked out twice once in 1956 and last week.

[CAROL] [BUSY WITH TIPPEX] Yahh! they are all like that.

[HARRY] So why that stack of brand new books then?

[CAROL] Oh apparently when they requested all the books it sent Enid Blyton to the top of the Author charts in the Library so they ordered another 3,000]

[HARRY] Tough luck old girl.

[CAROL] Thanks!... Could be worse though. At least I'm not in a jungle somewhere munching on skippy bollocks.

[HARRY] We were never allowed Noddy at home. Apparently, mum said that Noddy's friend reminded Dad of the bullying he had at Gordonstoun,.

[HARRY] [LOOKING ANXIOUS] hope I don't get the same treatment as you. There must be hundreds of Pakistan references. Think of all the maps and stuff. [LOOKING WORRIED] Still can't understand it all though. It was my job to call in planes and shit to bomb them but I can't mention them by name.

[ENTER GURKHA SOLDIER] Hello Sir. I am Gaja. It is my honour here to help you.

[HARRY] Oh top man, [POINTS TO SEAT NEAR CAROL]

[GURKHA SOLDIER] [SITS NEXT TO CAROL PICKS UP A BOOK AND TRY'S TO UNDERSTAND THE WORK]

[HARRY] [ON MOBILE PHONE] Hi Wills. Did you send me the gherkin?... oh he's my whipping boy?... ah smart one mate. I owe you one.

[HARRY] [PUTTING PHONE IN POCKET] Right that's me done. Thanks Gaj. I'm off for a night in Chelsea. [ENTHUSIASTIC SMILE]

[HARRY LEAVES]

[CAROL] Bye Harry - Have a G&T for me.

[CAROL] [SPEAKING FRIENDLY TO A POLITE SMILING GAJA] You where my mums favourite....

END

Nice idea. Some good lines. Some bits (like the reference to Harry's uniform) could be cut. But the golliwogs have been absent from the Noddy books for a long time now. They were replaced with goblins who try and carjack Noddy instead.

Paul I think the content is fine - you got no problems there.

However. A few points. Neg ones first.

1. Harry has spilt up with Chelsy.
2. Quite a bit of dialogue that doesn't add anything to sketch. The stuff about Harrys uniform - it's not needed and draws your attention from the main sketch.
Edit (bugger Dolly got there first!!)
3. Typos - one or two. In the punchline which doesn't help.
4. The point about EB is a little confused - but I see what you're getting at.
5. The punchline doesn't work for me.

The positives.

1. Like the concept - the golly on the board is great and removal of refs.
2. Nice bit about Noddy and Big Ears
3. The first 4/5 is very funny.

I'd try to chop it down to the bones and work on the punchline and I think you've got a winner.

Hope this helps

Dolly D, Thanks for the comments and the update on the goblin carjacks (Enid was ahead of her time here) Will take out the uniform. :-)

bigfella, Thanks very much for your constructive comments too. Will clarify the EB part and sharpen the dialogue.I have a couple of more jokes to shoe-horn in around the punch-line.

Apologies about the typo's - silly school boy error. (although I find that it never detracts.
Paul Milner - Comedy Genus