After hearing that really disturbing story today about the 13 year old father I thought I'd have a go at a little something something...
A SCHOOL PLAY GROUND WHERE TWO KIDS ARE IN A HUDDLE WITH STICKERS IN THEIR HANDS.
ALFIE: Keep going…yep, yep, got, got, had, need…
BEN: Shut up you knob! That took me ages to get, I thought you already had it?
ALFIE: Nuh uh! I'll give you a 'Gary Neville' for it!
BEN: Gary f**kin' Neville?! I already have 5! What else you got?
ALFIE CHECKS ALL HIS POCKETS. HE THEN PULLS OUT A BABY.
ALFIE: Urrr got this baby…
BEN: What?! Where'd you get that from Alf?
ALFIE: My Maxine popped it out last week…you want it?
BEN THEN CHECKS HIS STICKERS.
BEN: Alright I'll give you half of West Brom for it?
ALFIE: Chuck in Robbie Keane and it's a deal.
BEN: Deal.
ALFIE HANDS BEN THE BABY FOR THE STICKERS.
BEN: Urr Alf, does she like Wotsits?
ALFIE: F**k knows…I only carry her around for the photo shoots.