Noah's Ark

Is this a bit predictable?

Cheers

EXT. ARK DECK - DAY

Noah and his son are stood at the front of the boat looking out over the waters.

SON
Dad, why do we have to have two of every animal?

NOAH
Well son, God asked me to collect two of every animal so that they could survive the floods

SON
But why two?

NOAH
Well if there was only one of each then it would be impossible for them to reproduce and they would become extinct. That's why it's absolutely critical that we have two of each

Noah's wife comes over.

WIFE
Noah dear, I have some bad news. We didn't pack any food

Noah looks at her for a moment, pondering.

NOAH
Hmmm

Cut to. INT. DINING ROOM - DAY

The family are sat round the table looking full with empty plates in front of them. There is a horse-type skeleton in the middle of the table.

SON
Yum! Dad, that unicorn was delicious!

Noah picks his teeth with a sparkly horn.

This didn't do anything for me.

Were you listening to Ricky Gervais's new podcast by any chance?

It's too well known that humans made Dodos extinct.

use a Roc or Phoenix

That's a good idea billwill. I know just the creature. Cheers

Leevil, I didn't know there were new Ricky Gervais podcasts out but I've been listening to the old ones a lot recently. I'll have to look into them.

Yeah, they're doing special now. Concentrating on subjects like Science, Arts, Politics, ect.

This latest one had them talking about this. Not accusing you of anything, just wondered is all.

I thought this was quite good.
It might even work by just showing a horn on the Horse type skeleton, and not even mentioning what it is.

Is there a thread for the Ricky Gervais podcasts / XFM shows ?
I've been catching up on some of the old ones recently.
Karl has just invented Rockbusters in the ones I'm listening to.

It probably was inspired by that show in some way because I have been listening to them quite a bit over the past week.

Cheers Fred. It's a good idea but I feel something needs to be said, or at least done by one of them at the table just to make it feel right. A loud burp perhaps?

Cheers

Yes, too obvious. Been done.

The reveal is a little weak and obvious, so to mitigate that I think you'd need a few more jokes in the preceding bit. It's a bit dry, ironically considering the subject matter...

Cut to. INT. DINING ROOM - DAY

The family are sat round the table looking full

NOAH
More Unicorn anyone?

Thanks for the comments guys.

This was just a little idea I had bouncing round the old noggin and didn't really expect anything amazing from it, so I might have a bit of a tinker with it and see what happens.

Cheers

The Unicorn has been done before. I recall a Greeting card with tho Unicorns looking at the ark sailing away and one saying "We missed the boat!".

How about:

Int Ark mess room, some days later.

Typical litter after a large meal, bones of a huge bird carcass on the table.

NOAH
Well that's the last of the Rocs, people will have to eat Turkeys for the midwinter festival from now on.

NOAH
What delicacies have you rustled up for us?

CHEF
Dog alla cat with a sprinkling of hamster, and a side of rabbit and gerbil on the side.

NOAH(Checking the bible)
No mention of these being sacred.

They feast.

Quote: Stuart Doherty @ February 15 2009, 3:56 AM GMT

NOAH
What delicacies have you rustled up for us?

CHEF
Dog alla cat with a sprinkling of hamster, and a side of rabbit and gerbil on the side.

NOAH(Checking the bible)
No mention of these being sacred.

They feast.

View original

Erm, I think you missed the point of the rest of the Sketch...

Only Two of everything ....

Quote: billwill @ February 15 2009, 9:36 PM GMT

Erm, I think you missed the point of the rest of the Sketch...

Only Two of everything ....

View original

Being a pedant, according to the story, there were only two of each of the non-kosher animals, and seven of the kosher ones. So enough to reproduce AND go round.

Admittedly, that's not much of an issue for a sketch. So seriously:

I do like the ending idea of using the horn as a toothpick, but the rest didn't do much for me. Maybe add a couple of gags?

Perhaps instead of them not packing food, could use the idea they're committed to being vegetarians for 40 days while there're floods. Except fishing, of course. Then late one night Noah comes down to find his son bundling something in the fridge.
"Have you seen that unicorn, recently?"
Son closes fridge quickly. He turns round, revealing the horn gripped between his teeth.

Perhaps not. As you were.