TITLES: PROPERTY PORN.
MONTAGE OF PROPERTY AND TRAVEL CLIPS. PLANE TAKING OFF - HALF-NAKED WOMEN ON A BEACH ON SUN LOUNGERS. PALATIAL LOOKING MANSIONS SWIMMING POOLS ETC.
EXT. HOLIDAY LOCATION - DAY
FEMALE PRESENTER:
This week Steve and I are trying to help company director, Myles, and his partner, Pippa, from Cheltenham find a holiday bolthole in Tuscany.
MALE PRESENTER:
Yes that's right. They have a budget of 850k that might just stretch to 900 at a pinch.
FEMALE PRESENTER:
I've been talking to local agents and one thing's becoming clear. Locals here don't want a load of foreigners moving in and buying up their properties and thus making it difficult for their own people to afford a property where they were born and bred.
MALE PRESENTER:
And you know what? They've a point actually. In fact I couldn't give a shiny shite about this pair of oiks. They've got more money than they know what to do with and not so much as one single redeeming or likeably quality between them whatsoever.
FEMALE PRESENTER:
Yeah, F**k 'em! The bastards. Let them find their own place. I wouldn't put myself out for either of them.
MALE PRESENTER:
Yeah you said it. Join us next time on Property Porn when hopefully there might be a couple that just may have a hint of the likeability factor.
END:
